Dr Oz, Eggsploitation, and What I Wore

I stand by everything I said about the film Eggsploitation, almost a year since I saw the film at Fordham and Columbia U Law Schools. I have not seen Anonymous Fathers Day, and I will probably not when it screens on January 29, 2012 in NYC at a Digital Art Gallery. 


I was, however, asked to be part of a special section of 40 people to attend the taping of The Dr Oz Show this past Friday, 12-9-11. The Topic: HOW OLD IS TOO OLD TO HAVE A BABY? I never saw the Dr Oz Show until I attended this taping. I was prepped on the phone and in person the day of the taping on what the questions would be, about being a 50  yr old mom of 7 yr old twins. The producer I spoke to asked for passionate participation and said there would be people on the other side of the argument, but that she never heard of Jennifer Lahl, Eggsploitation, Shark Tank Girl, Family Scholars or Elizabeth Marquardt. Something told me otherwise (maybe the little birdie I tell my kids about, the one that comes to talk to you when you are a mom). 


I was ushered in to the studio after passing several security check points starting at 8:15am, signing the release form, getting the bracelet to wear so I could give up my belongings for 3 hrs to sit without a bathroom break or even to stretch my legs. No water bottles allowed under your seat, they reflect on camera, it was to go until about 12noon.


During the taping, I raised my hand a few times to speak but was never called upon for a direct question or to add to the discussions. I had no book or film to promote, no organization to do PR or cultivate a relationship or free press for, but I did take a vacation day from work for this and I could use my show ticket to receive a 10% discount on merchandise sold at the Studio Store on the main floor of 30 Rock. 


Those that did speak on camera had good sound bytes to share, good points to make about older parenting and even egg donation, for and against, and I enjoyed the discussion from both sides. It was difficult to hear so I did not catch the 2 doctors names that were on the panel of experts, one woman OBGYN who said that women of advanced maternal age, even with the use of Donor Egg, can sometimes present other medical issues and that she would not allow to move ahead with a pregnancy plan or any fertility treatments. The male doctor on the panel, a Reproductive Endocrinologist, explained quite a bit about how a healthy woman in her 40's, most of what he sees in his medical practice, can carry a child to term with donor egg with greater success rates than with her own eggs. The mom in the audience, Kate, who conceived via DE in her 50's confirmed that no matter what the others are called in her family-building journey, these are her kids and she is the mom.


Many times the word "biological" child was used when I believe the distinction of  "genetic" offspring should have been made. For example, one of the first things Jennifer Lahl said about infertility is that she understands the heartbreak and the desire for a biological child of one's own but that basically giving birth via donor conception was NOT your biological child, it was another woman's child. In addition to that, according to Jennifer Lahl, "Not everyone has a right to have a baby." I hope this is not edited out from the taping. She even repeated herself, just to be clear.
Maybe she thinks it isn't anyone's right to have a baby at any age or by any means of medical intervention by any one at all. As you may know by now, she is looking to end all ivf procedures, not just donor. But surely she didn't mean "Not everyone has a right to have a baby." Did she?


Shark Tank Girl stood up to say that she is 5 months PG, that she has been an Egg Donor and is a Donor Offspring herself, here at The Dr Oz Show to say that Anonymous Donor Conception is wrong because it strips the child of their rightful PARENTAL connection to, you guessed it, the Donor. A parent and a donor are not the same thing.


So, WHY is it, that if a Donor wants to be a parent they have to have their own family with a different mate to actually live as a family, but Shark Tank Girl still insists that the donor is part of MY family. Why do other people get to decide what my family wants or needs? Why do people who are actually parents who conceive at the time through a real relationshoip to the child, get to walk in and out of a kids life and are still the parents, even though everyone else might agree that they are not? I do know families like this and that is exactly the point. People get to decide what they want to be a part of or not and no one can force them one way or another. 


If my kids grow up and decide they want another Mother, it will be IN ADDITION to me, not INSTEAD of me, if that other person wants to and not if they don't.


The kids will have to decide for themselves if they love me or not, still want me as their mom or not, if they want to seek out their donor and then accept them as another Mother or not, and so on. We will always be a family of choice, but I would appreciate it very much if you didn't call me/us other names and use language like "The Violent Act of Buying and Selling a Child" with regard to sperm and egg donation, or that donors are "Used And Then Forgotten'', over and over. If you really care about families then why don't you leave alone the ones that exist just fine (and thriving in the same ways and at the same rate as other families in the general population) without you?  


PS-I wore a blue dress and figure that all you'll see of me when the show airs in January is the back of my head, which I really do hope they edit even that part of my participation out of the show. And if you happen to speak to Dr Oz, please tell him that I want my vacation day back! I am just a working mom, after all.

Eugenics,Forced Sterilization and Limiting Who Can and Cannot Have a Baby

A woman over 40 has the right to have a baby as much as anyone else.

With proper education, social and mental health guidance, medical screening and follow-up for all those involved, no one has to participate in third party reproduction against their will.

The slippery slope of limiting access to reproductive choice, ART or otherwise.


http://nytimes.com/2011/12/10/us/
redress-weighed-for-forced-sterilizations-in-north-carolina.xml

Furthermore, are we going to stop doing ivf so that residual drugs are not ending up in the environment and putting others at risk of harm from these drugs? What other drugs are going into the environment this way? We have even more people using batteries in this country than are doing ivf.

Read here for environmental pollution that we are sending to Mexico in the form of "recycling" materials.

Recycled Battery Lead Puts Mexicans in Danger
By ELISABETH ROSENTHAL
Dec 09, 2011 - The used batteries Americans turn in for recycling are increasingly processed in Mexico, their lead often extracted by crude methods that are illegal in the United States.

http://nytimes.com/article?a=877760

The Dr Oz Show

How old is too old to have a baby?
Jennifer Lahl, "Not everyone has a right to have a baby."
I hope this is not edited out from today's taping. She even repeated herself, just to be clear.
Maybe she thinks it isn't right to have a baby at any age or by any means of medical intervention by any one at all. But surely she didn't mean "Not everyone has a right to have a baby."


Did she?

‘Baby trafficking’ scandal just the tip of the IVF/surrogacy iceberg: expert | LifeSiteNews.com

Making the case that all IVF+Surrogacy are bad or wrong.
With more mainstream exposure than Motherlode in The NYTimes, now on CNN with Anderson Cooper, Jennifer Lahl quoted as saying that all of ivf is unethical.


She's not just Jennifer Lahl when quoted , she's Jennifer Lahl of the film Eggsploitation.


My kids will read this someday. 


We need more than children's storybooks about third party reproduction to deal with how our kids will feel about what is waiting for them on the other side of our disclosure story.

 http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/baby-trafficking-scandal-just-the-tip-of-the-ivf-surrogacy-iceberg-expert/

MAYBE I'LL JOIN THE DSR WHEN WE MEET WENDY IN PERSON AT THE NYC GATHERING DINNER ON OCTOBER 17, 2011

PLEASE CONFIRM YOUR RESERVATION FOR THE NYC GATHERING DINNER ON OCTOBER 17,2011 BY DIRECT EMAIL TO SAXEL95@AOL.COM.


WENDY KRAMER AND HER SON RYAN WILL GIVE US AN OVERVIEW OF THE DONOR SIBLING REGISTRY AND TELL US MORE ABOUT THEIR OWN EXPERIENCE AS A DONOR-CONCEIVED FAMILY. WE WILL HAVE AN OPEN FORMAT DISCUSSION AND ALL ARE WELCOME TO ATTEND WITH A CONFIRMED REGISTRATION.


THANKS AND BEST TO ALL!

Thanks to Donor Diva -- on FertilityAuthority.com

The Donor Diva blogged:
"There is enough gray area in egg donation, sperm donation and surrogacy. Now when these children get older, they could hear that they were conceived with the intent of being sold? I hope they don't have to deal with that. I know there are enough hurdles for donor-conceived children."

But I think the children conceived through this situation WILL hear they were conceived with the intent of being sold AND what everyone on the internet thinks of the Surrogacy Scandal (The Baby-Selling Ring) and has thought of all of Third Party Reproduction long before today.

Donor Diva also asks how will donors feel. And I know its supposed to be "my kids story to tell" as per many, many parents and experts before me have said (and given me lears and warnings about). I, too, have put myself out there emotionally publicly, to say that this is OUR story to tell. If I waited until my kids were old enough to decide for themselves how public they wanted to be then I would be wrestling with "the increasingly blurring lines between secrecy and privacy" (see women's dinner group Donor Mom Dinner Recap - Discussion on DE Parenting and Disclosure post from May 6, 2010, click over there on the right) and perpetuating "don't ask, don't tell" that keeps most of Third Party Reproduction more in the closet than out. Unfortunately, Donor Diva, I think this effects all of us.

I've lost friends on facebook and elsewhere over TPR. They can't be friends with me for fear of being outted just by association, even though I have tons of ways to know someone that easily covers up the donor-conception connection they think others will make of it. Of the hundreds of people I've met this way,on line,on the phone, in person, just a few stay in touch because the association is too risky or simply too much to bear.

Donor Diva,keep up the great work, help us get the message out and when you meet anyone who might be up for the challenge of getting out there with us, please let them know that life as a parent and family through TPR may in fact be harder, but that we are working to make it BETTER. And that we WILL succeed.

http://www.fertilityauthority.com/blogger/leigh/2011/08/19/surrogacy-scandal-baby-selling-ring

Jennifer Lahl, Eggsploitation Film Maker.

I stand by everything I said about the film, current situation notwithstanding.
http://www.lifenews.com/2011/08/19/surrogacy-attorneys-caught-exploiting-women-selling-babies/

Criticism Of The Surrogates Caught Up In The Baby Selling Ring Is Unwarranted & Misplaced

http://www.eggdonor.com/blog/2011/08/12/criticism-surrogates-caught-baby-selling-ring-unwarranted-misplaced/

Egg Donor Law Suit ~ EGGSPLOITATION? THINK AGAIN~

To those who think egg donors are making tons of $ in the wild west of unregulated reproductive medicine (which it is), think again....This young woman thinks the ASRM guidelines is what prevents them from making more. And that doesn't sound like coercion or exploitation to me either.


The Faculty Lounge: ASRM Seeks Dismissal of Egg Donor Suit

http://www.thefacultylounge.org/2011/07/asrm-seeks-dismissal-of-egg-donor-suit.html

From the UK-BioNews - Improve donor recruitment: listen to donors

While I'm not looking to sugar coat the issue (but looking to usurp the accusations coming in my direction anyway;) I would also look at how patient satisfaction differs across various sectors to see how this compares. Its all relative as they say.
Compensated or not, I expect all medical patients to be treated with kindness, respect and good care. I would be devastated beyond consoling to ever find that someone was harmed due to negligence or out of fierce profit motives on my behalf. The world is not perfect, regulation of the fertility industry may or may not ever happen.
People usually come to any life-cycle decision, such as whether to donate or receive, with a fair amount of thought behind them and expectations going in. Our medical system leaves a lot to be desired by any patient/consumer. To paint a picture and have phrases constantly out there (but just to be clear, NOT in this article from Bio News UK, but in the previous donor article linked to on this blog from the NYTimes Motherlode blog) such as "used and forgotten", does not help anyone. It really doesn't. Least of all, my kids.


http://www.bionews.org.uk/page_102800.asp?dinfo=YNph1tXOsnQ6BdCg7jV2xd6s

July 22, 2011 An Egg Donor Writes to the NYTimes.com Motherlode Blog About Her Experience

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/07/22/an-egg-donor-responds/

ANTI-TRUST CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT FILED AGAINST SART/ASRM BY EGG DONOR

The Donor is saying she could have made more money and that ASRM guidelines are rules by which fertility clinics comply with or they lose their ASRM endorsement.

I wonder what Jennifer Lahl, producer of Eggsploitation would say about that. Her answer in Q&A at film screenings about the lure of donor compensation higher than the ASRM guidelines of not exceeding $10k is that those guidelines are ''meaningless''. Apparently.some donors and agencies are pretty angry that these guidelines are actually followed by the industry in general, as if colluding or price-fixing.

I will try to follow-up by posting anything ASRM publishes as a reply to this suit if I see anything.

http://classactionlawsuitsinthenews.com/class-action-lawsuit-complaints/human-egg-donor-services-antitrust-class-action-lawsuit-complaint/

EGGSPLOITATION, SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT Link To Radio Show MARCH 31, 2011

http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/52914/moving-beyond-exploitation-setting-the-record-straight-about-egg-donation

Interview Questions for Egg Donors

Here's one from the producer of the film Eggsploitation on her CBC website: 


Lahl: Do you know if you have children out there?

A Reply About The Definition of Eggsploitation.

Thanks to Halle who writes,"That's a great definition if I tied the donor up for a few weeks, injected her myself with meds and then stole her eggs and threw her in the street."

Where to find the definition of eggsploitation

http://www.esbtrib.com/news/award-winning-documentary-eggsploitation-screened-at-the-king-s-college-1.1968817

A Conversation with Nancy Block of the Donor Network Alliance on the Film Eggsploitation and the upcoming Radio Show

Thanks to Nancy for sharing her thoughts with me before Thursday's Show on Voice America with Theresa Erickson. We'll be on at 2PM EST to talk about the film Eggsploitation. 

Here's what Nancy wrote to me:

Let me put a few things into words if I may

 

From a medical perspective as a former OB, infertility and gyne Oncology nurse I feel for those who have such heartache getting and keeping a pregnancy. When we interview a donor, it may seem as though we are trying to talk them out of donating. We point out the pro's and cons.

I have in my posession some incredible letters written by donors to their past IP's. I have letters from donors who chose to donate more than once for the same family so their children would have their own connection. The thoughts that are expressed by these young women are amazing and very well thought out and mature. Women today are much more goal oriented than I was at their age. They have a "bucket list" of things to do before they think about having a family. They want to be prepared and ready and also continue their education while doing something fulfilling for others.

I can't explain why it happens but when the IP's and donors send notes to each other (through the agency anonymously) they find their connection with each other and that keeps them going. NOT the money. Anyone can go to the doctor's office and have vaginal ultrasounds and blood work but when a donor has heard from her IP, a simple thank you even, keeps donors going and stay on task and feel there really is a person waiting. Not just a tech in the doctors office.

 

I am a mother, never thought about anything other than getting married and having children after nursing school. Why should anyone be denied that option?  Why can't someone make a family whole?

We live in the United States of America where we cherish our freedom...how can these people continue to argue what someones feelings are? Even if I didn't do this type of work, I would still be supportive. We have to speak up for those that have never had a family member or close friend or patient experience the loss of being able to have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

 

Hope this helps in some way.

Nancy Block, Donor Network Alliance    egg411@gmail.com

Yes Nancy, it does help. Thanks for sharing this with us. I wish we had done more to thank our donor personally at the time, and had the kind of correspondence that you mention. I know she was cared for medically and treated respectfully by our clinic and that our appreciation for what she did to help us to try to start our family was conveyed to her nonetheless.

The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio Program Presents Moving Beyond Eggsploitation: Setting the Record Straight About Egg Donation

SAN DIEGO, March 30, 2011: Since Eggsploitation’s release in 2010 by the Center for Bioethics and Culture, a conservative organization opposing assisted reproduction, the infertility field has been trying to gauge its effect. Is the sensational, one-sided film just another attack on infertility patients’ access to care that is no more than a passing phase or will it have a lasting impact on how the public perceives egg donation?

On Thursday, March 31 episode of The Surrogacy Lawyer: Your Guide to IVF and Third Party Family Building, host Theresa Erickson, Esq., and her guests will be discussing the allegations Eggsploitation makes about donor moms, egg donors and the entire infertility profession. She will be interviewing Marna Gatlin, founder of Parents Via Egg Donation; Sara Axel, donor mom and coordinator of the NYC Gathering Spot; a California egg donor; and John Hesla, M.D., a reproductive endocrinologist at Oregon Reproductive Medicine.

Eggsploitation claims that donor egg moms, described as rich older women “who can buy what they want, just like another commodity,” exploit younger women, “the anonymous donors.” Another assertion perpetuated by the film is that egg donors are seemingly coerced into donating, lured by the “big” money of compensation, and are not educated about the risks they will be taking, thus exposing themselves to major health concerns.

“Despite its over-the-top imagery and one-sided depiction of egg donation, many in the infertility professional and patient communities feel that something good will evolve from discussing the issues the documentary raises. We are not disputing the horrific experiences described by the young women profiled and we empathize with their physical and emotional pain,“ says attorney Erickson. “But we also are cognizant of the larger agenda the Eggsploitation producers have about reproductive medicine. As a former egg donor and now as a third party reproduction specialist, I want to insure that the absolute best practices are utilized for the welfare of both egg donors and parents via egg donation. I am glad we have this chance to move the discussion forward.”

About Theresa Erickson, Esq.

Ms. Erickson is the managing partner of Erickson Law and the founder and chair of Conceptual Options, The Surrogacy and Egg Donation Center. In addition, Ms. Erickson is the author of the newly released Surrogacy and Embryo, Sperm, & Egg Donation: What Were You Thinking? Erickson was motivated to write her second book so she could educate potential intended parents, as well as the women who become surrogates and egg donors, about what all parties need to know if they are going to become involved in third party reproduction.

Attorney Erickson is a globally recognized expert in this specialized area of law and is a board member of the American Fertility Association and the legal director of Parents Via Egg Donation. For more information, please visit www.ericksonlaw.net and www.conceptualoptions.com.

MODEL OF an Informed Consent DOC for Egg Donors Provided by NY State

This is an abbreviated  model form by the  NYS DOH TASK FORCE ON HEALTH REGULATIONS after the Ads and before the actual donation takes place.
http://www.health.ny.gov/regulations/task_force/consumers/docs/informed_consent_for_egg_donors_form.pdf
Here are some highlights of the items that are covered:
Program’s SART Name and Number
∗INFORMED CONSENT FOR EGG DONORS
You are agreeing to undergo a cycle of egg donation at [program’s SART name].  Do
not sign this document if you have not received all of the information listed below or
have not met with your physician to discuss the information.  Do not allow the donation
cycle to begin until after you have given your consent by signing this document.


The SCREENING PROCESS 
A DESCRIPTION of the PROCEDURES for egg donation.
The  RISKS of taking THE DRUGS ie OVARIAN HYPERSTIMULATION – AND information about the SYMPTOMS AND CONSEQUENCES of ovarian hyperstimulation
Your  CHANCES of developing ovarian hyperstimulation from taking drugs to induce ovulation
AND the NUMBER OF EGGS the program plans to produce by stimulating your ovaries with drugs.  
The process of REMOVING EGGS from your body AND any other problems that might  happen  including any potential  LONG-TERM PROBLEMS that might not occur until later in your life.
Any  PAIN or  DISCOMFORT 
PSYCHOSOCIAL  and  EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, INCLUDING COUNSELING
The AMOUNT OF TIME involved and the possible RESTRICTIONS on your work and activities How the donation process may affect your family or partner .The support and counseling resources available
How WELL-ESTABLISHED each procedure is in the field, including whether it
is generally accepted within the relevant medical community, how much EXPERIENCE [program’s SART name] has with each procedure, training of the professional staff
Your FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS, WHAT COSTS ARE  and  ARE NOT COVERED  by  [program’s SARTname] and/or its INSURANCE, any  COSTS that you may be
RESPONSIBLE FOR, Who is responsible for the cost of MEDICAL COMPLICATIONS, including expenses related to any potential LONG-TERM PROBLEMS that might not occur until later in your life Whether you have any potential financial responsibility for certain medical problems that the resulting OFFSPRING might develop later in life Reporting your compensation as TAXABLE INCOME,COMPENSATION ,the amount of compensation, when will be paid, the  [Program’s SART name]’s policy on PARTIAL COMPENSATION or FULL PAYMENT.[Program’s SART name]’s policy on your  RIGHT TO WITHDRAW CONSENT, all the POSSIBLE USES of your eggs, information about the OUTCOMES of your egg donation, such as whether your donation resulted in a pregnancy or live birth. You should not assume that you will have any  PARENTAL RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES to any resulting offspring, although state laws on these issues remain unsettled.The risks involved with  MULTIPLE EGG DONATION, your CONFIDENTIALITY. Except as required  by law, your physician and  [program’s SART name] will not reveal any information about you or your egg donation without your consent, except that they may use  specific medical details in professional publications as long as personal information about you is not disclosed.  Statistics concerning your egg donation (without your name or personal information) will be included in information that  [program’s SART name] provides to the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology and the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.  Any other use of information about you or your egg donation would require your specific written consent.
CYCLE OF EGG DONATION
I have read this entire consent form and have had the chance to ask any questions I might have about my egg donation.  My consent to egg donation is purely voluntary.  I understand that my consent applies to only  one cycle of egg donation and that I may withdraw my consent at any time before  eggs are removed from my body.  I have received a copy of this form.
Egg Donor:
_______________________________________
(signature)
     Date:  _______________________
_______________________________________
(print name)
PHYSICIAN CERTIFICATION:  I hereby certify that before the cycle of egg donation
began, and before the egg donor signed this document,
(i)  I or the staff at this program have provided the egg donor with information
about the nature, purpose, benefits, risks of, and alternatives to, the proposed
cycle of egg donation; and
(ii)  I have met with the egg donor to discuss the information, have given the egg
donor an opportunity to ask any questions, and have fully answered such
questions.
I believe that the egg donor fully understands what I have explained and answered and
has consented to undergo the proposed cycle of egg donation.
Physician Responsible for the
Egg Donor’s Care:
_______________________________________
(signature)
     Date:  _______________________
_______________________________________
(print name)

NY Times 1.23.11. Abortion: Easy Access, Complex Everything Else

Just found the paper when I was cleaning up tonight. We still get a hard copy delivered.

N.Y. / REGION   | January 23, 2011 City Critic:  Abortion: Easy Access, Complex Everything Else  By ARIEL KAMINER In a city where access is relatively easy compared with that of other parts of the country, the emotional terrain is a minefield.