Special Spring Announcements

We are having a PVED.org Meet-up on Tues Eve, March 6th, 6:30-8:30 in midtown. Please join the meetup group by going to this link and contact me via email or on the meetup site to reserve a spot at the dinner.


http://www.meetup.com/New-York-PVED/


The next NYC Gathering is on March 20th, 2012, 6:30-8:30.
Anne Malave, PHD, and Amy Demma, Esq, will be speaking about the emotional and legal aspects of Embryo Disposition. If you have extra embryos and have completed your family then what to do next might be on your mind and you are feeling like you need to start exploring your feelings and options.


Please contact me directly for reservations, saxel95@aol.com.


Lastly, a new one-day workshop to be hosted by Lisa Schuman, LCSW, will be held after Easter and Passover. This will be modeled on the annual weekend retreat Lisa holds each year for families created through Adoption. How I've longed to have Lisa do something similar for Donor and Third Party Families!


From Lisa..."there will be a full day workshop for parents and kids on the children's disclosure issues. For the parents it will be about their feelings about disclosure and how to help the kids help themselves and for the kids it would be about how to understand their donor information and share/ not share with others."


Please let us know your preferences of days/ times so that I can keep a list from our Blog and Group, and please speak with Lisa as well, Lisashu@aol.com.


Thanks and best to all,
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Saxel95@aol.com

What If You Discovered You Had 150 Siblings? | AndersonCooper.com

Wendy Kramer of The Donor Sibling Registry is on Anderson Cooper. Two genetic half-siblings meet for the first time on the show. Here are a few clips. The entire program to be uploaded soon,

http://www.andersoncooper.com/2011/11/17/siblings/

Rethinking Sperm-Donor Anonymity: making the case against one-size-fits-all regulation and mandatory registries.

Rethinking Sperm-Donor Anonymity: Of Changed Selves, Non-Identity, and One-Night Stands by I. Glenn Cohen :: SSRN


The abstract can be read and the paper downloaded here.

http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1961605

Personality of a sperm donor? Study offers clues - Men's health

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44979426/ns/health-mens_health/

Provocative New Documentary “Sperm Donor” Premieres Sept. 27 On Style - Ratings | TVbytheNumbers

http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/2011/09/07/provocative-new-documentary-%E2%80%9Csperm-donor-premieres-sept-27-on-style/102864/

Getting better sperm donors | Gene Expression | Discover Magazine

Here is a perspective on de-regulation of sperm donation in the uk.

http://mblogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2011/08/getting-better-sperm-donors/

Donor Linking Symposium at the Conference on Human Reproduction December 4th,2011 in Australia» ANZICA

http://www.humanreproduction2011.com/associated-meetings/anzica/

Sperm donor could lose his status | theage.com.au

Strange news...

http://m.theage.com.au/national/sperm-donor-could-lose-his-status-20110802-1i9wq.html

Is Your Sperm Donor Dapper? - Jezebel

The worlds of donor conception and mens fashion have finally intersected.


http://m.jezebel.com/5824506/is-your-sperm-donor-dapper

From the UK-BioNews - Improve donor recruitment: listen to donors

While I'm not looking to sugar coat the issue (but looking to usurp the accusations coming in my direction anyway;) I would also look at how patient satisfaction differs across various sectors to see how this compares. Its all relative as they say.
Compensated or not, I expect all medical patients to be treated with kindness, respect and good care. I would be devastated beyond consoling to ever find that someone was harmed due to negligence or out of fierce profit motives on my behalf. The world is not perfect, regulation of the fertility industry may or may not ever happen.
People usually come to any life-cycle decision, such as whether to donate or receive, with a fair amount of thought behind them and expectations going in. Our medical system leaves a lot to be desired by any patient/consumer. To paint a picture and have phrases constantly out there (but just to be clear, NOT in this article from Bio News UK, but in the previous donor article linked to on this blog from the NYTimes Motherlode blog) such as "used and forgotten", does not help anyone. It really doesn't. Least of all, my kids.


http://www.bionews.org.uk/page_102800.asp?dinfo=YNph1tXOsnQ6BdCg7jV2xd6s

When Is Love Not Enough? | Psychology Today

Interview on Transracial Parenting and Single Parenting via Donor Conception:mamacandtheboys.....
http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-the-wild-things-are/201107/when-is-love-not-enough

Mama C and the Boys - Third Party Parenting, Transracial Parenting and Single Parenting

http://mamacandtheboys.com/

Older dads try parenting the second time around - USATODAY.com

Buried not too far down in this article, a couple is freely disclosing that they used a sperm donor to create their family. Also mentioned is the change toward greater social acceptance for divorce,compared to the 60s and 70s.

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/parenting-family/story/2011/06/Older-dads-try-parenting-the-second-time-around/48463948/1

AMY DEMMA ON THE FILM EGGSPLOITATION

FROM AMY'S BLOG. 


MY FIRST WRITING ON EGGSPLOITATION (AS ORIGINALLY POSTED ON FERTILITY AUTHORITY) by Amy Demma,Esq.

I am writing today to prospective parents considering egg donation, to the parents of donor conceived children and to donor candidates. I want to address the claims made by and in support of “Eggsploitation: The Infertility Industry Has a Dirty Little Secret” a documentary soon to be screened on Capitol Hill by the Center for Bioethics and Culture.

Since word of this film came to our community, my colleagues and I have been talking about the young women portrayed, each alleging grave side-effects suffered, they claim, as a result of their respective egg donation experiences. “The young women interviewed in this film talk about suffering from strokes, brain damage, internal bleeding, or infertility after the procedure. Some ended up with cancer. Others nearly died from complications of the surgery done to retrieve the eggs” says Chuck Colson, Founder of the Colson Center for a Christian Worldview.

My colleagues and I are comparing notes, we are sharing our respective histories of working, likely, in a collective sense, with thousands of egg donors, we are worried that the correlations alleged in the film between dire health consequences and egg donation will impact how hopeful parents (and even successful recipient parents) regard this family building option. We are concerned that donor candidates will become alarmed.

While it would be unfair to the women interviewed to question the truthfulness of their stories, I can emphatically state that in my close to ten-years of working with egg donors, I have never known a donor to report a stroke, brain damage, a diagnosis of cancer or a near-death experience. None of my colleagues had any such stories to share, either. Certainly and unfortunately, we are all aware of the potential of ovarian hyper-stimulation as well as other possible post-cycle health issues. But do know that those of us who practice responsibly take seriously our obligation to make donor candidates aware of potential side-effects and we trust, too, that the physicians, nurses and mental health professionals will review, in detail, all possible risks before a donor is allowed to proceed.

Wesley J. Smith, a compensated consultant to the producers of “Eggsploitation” writes with hyperbole in his article “A Preventative Against Biological Colonialism” that “donors are not patients in the traditional sense…rather, they are means to an end for the real patients of the clinics…donors may be viewed as a resource to be harvested and then forgotten. Indeed, the film documents how donors quickly become out of sight and out of mind.”

And Colson continues: “If (donors) express any concerns or reservations (about the process), according to the young women interviewed in the film, they are pressured and even guilt-tripped into continuing.”

I not only find both Mr. Smith’s and Mr. Colson’s comments distorted, I question their points of reference. Most clinics, in my experience, treat donors with enormous regard, with tremendous compassion and are very careful to assess whether or not a donor meets the standard of “informed”.

What can you do if you are considering egg donation (either as a recipient or a donor)? Ask questions. Talk to your agency about what information is made available to donor applicants about the process. Ask what the clinic’s donor education program looks like. Ask about agency and clinic practices regarding the documenting of an applicant’s health history in order to assess whether or not she is an acceptable candidate. If you are a donor applicant, ask if the agency or the clinic can connect you with previous donors so that you can inquire about their experiences. Find out from both the agency and the clinic how many donors may have suffered medical complications. Be pttro-active in gathering information. I suspect, if you are diligent in your fact-finding, that both donors and recipients will find responsible programs that prioritize a donor’s well-being and take good care should she have need for follow-up.

See the film if you must (and as a side-note, consider the agenda of the organization releasing it) but please do not let this documentary dissuade you from a process you otherwise thought might be right for you.

Amy Demma, Esq.
www.lawofficesofamydemma.com
Amy.demma@lawofficesofamydemma.com
Amy Demma is a New York licensed attorney practicing in reproductive law. Amy was the founder of Prospective Families, an agency now affiliated with The Fertility Source Companies

Support Group and Events Listing Update 10.24.10:

Please Reply: NYC GATHERING WORKSHOP NOV 14,2010. Anyone (peer or professional) interested in leading or suggesting specific topics for small roundtable discussion groups at this event please let me know.

The NYC Gathering Womens Dinner in Midtown- Tues 11-16, Mon 12-13 saxel95@aol.com. 516-967-7430, 5:30-7:30pm.

Long Island Resolve Peer-Led Support Group-Third Thursdays Monthly -Nov 18, Dec 16, 7-9pm. Saxel95@aol.com, 516-967-7430.
Tuesdays -Judith Kottick,LCSW -Montclair NJ,Support Group for Donor Parenting mailto:Judykottick@comcast.net  Tuesadays 10-26,12-7

Weds-Midtown-Family Building Network for Donor Conception and Surrogacy-Support Group with Patricia Mendell, LCSW, Pmendell@aol.com 11-17,12-15,1-19 from 7-9pm.

Weds-Anne Malave, PHd-Support Group for Women Exploring Egg Donation-2nd and 4th Weds of the month, 7-8:30 pm, afmalave@aol.com ,212-787-1304.

Tues-Upper West Side-Nov 9, Dec 14,Support Group, Elizabeth SIlk, LCSW, 212-873-6434 , Nancy Kaufman, LCSW, 212-772-1200 or thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com.

Thursdays-Midtown Not strictly Third Party Reproduction, open (free) drop-in group Carolyn Berger, LCSW. at Batzofin Fertility Center in Midtown on the 1st and 3rd Thursday each month, 6-7:3pm. cnberger@optonline.net 914-834-6396.

Stress Reduction for Infertility Classes with Helen Adrienne, LCSW, BCD, 420 East 64th Street call 212-758-0125,or email helen@helenadrienne.com, 6:30-8:30PM,cost $75.00. Meets@NYU Fertility Center, 660 First Avenue, 6th Floor, corner of 38th Street, NYC.

JUNE & JULY UPDATE

Sunday June 6th



THE NYC GATHERING AND THE FAMILY BUILDING NETWORK PRESENT:
Creating the Family Story for Parents and Parents-to-be via Donor and Surrogacy.
I want to start off by saying that I am very excited to be meeting both Jean Benward and Theresa Erickson for the first time at the June 6th Workshop.

• Theresa Erickson is an attorney who specializes in Reproductive and Family Law (www.ericksonlaw.net.) and will be speaking on our panel about her own experience as an Ovum Donor. She is an Executive Board Member of Parents Via Egg Donation, PVED.org.

• Patricia Mendell, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice. She is Co-Chair of The AFA, facilitator of their Ovum Donor Seminars, and has written and spoken extensively on fertility, pregnancy loss, disclosure, family, and parenting issues. As a therapist and fertility survivor, Patricia is well aware of the impact decision making choices have on people’s lives. She believes that with the right support system and practical educational tools one can feel confident in tackling any of life’s challenges. http://www.patriciamendell.com, 718-230-9383, 212-819-1778
• Jean Benward, LCSW is a psychotherapist in private practice with over 25 years experience with issues surrounding adoption, infertility, and donor conception. She served as a member of the ASRM’s Mental Health Professional Group Executive Committee for seven years. She is co-president of the Board of Directors of the Sperm Bank of California and has been a consultant on the Sperm Bank’s identity release task force for eight years. Jean is the co-author of the AFA Talking to Kids about Ovum Donation pamphlet. She has just completed a book chapter about Identity Formation in Donor Offspring for a Canadian publisher. She has presented at numerous ASRM symposia and workshops, at the American Society for Bioethics and Humanism and at the Evan B Donaldson Adoption Institute. Her clinical experience includes several years as adjunct professor and clinical supervisor for graduate students in child and family therapy. You can reach her at: officejeanbenward@sbcglobal.net or phone: 925 820 9023.
  This workshop is an expanded version of the very well-received workshop held in November '09. We will have a panel of parents and donor-conceived kids and adults (and a donor!), interactive discussions planned, childrens psychological development info, practical and specific tools will be presented. Please contact pmendell@aol.com or saxel95@aol.com to confirm your reservation.

Additional Events Listing:

Anne Malave-June 2, June 16, June 30-Continuing with Anne Malave PHD, 4 session commitment, Professionally Led Support Group, UWS, 212-787-1304.
Call for Dates-Anne Malave,PHD PG Via DE Professionally Led Support Group, UWS, 212-787-1304.Thurs June 17-Anne Malave PHD, 4 session comittment-6-7pm Professionally Led Support Group in Mineola, 212-787-1304.

Mon June 14, Mon July 12, Tues Aug 3, Mon Sept 13, Mon Oct 18, Tues 11-16, Mon 12-13-The NYC Gathering Womens Dinner in Midtown saxel95@aol.com.
Long Island Resolve Peer-Led Support Group-Third Thursdays Monthly -June 17,July 15,Aug 19,Sept 16,Oct 21, Nov 18, Dec 16.
Sunday-June 27-LI All-inclusive, Eisenhower Park, Lot#2, 10am-1pm.

TPPN-Tues-Jun 8, Sept 14, Oct 12, Nov 9, Dec 14,TPPN, UWS, Professionally Led Support Group, Elizabeth SIlk, LCSW, Nancy Kaufman, LCSW. Esilk2@earthlink.net, NLKaufman@yahoo.com.

Sunday July 11-The Mystic Aquarium, all-inclusive CT and NE Gathering, saxel95@aol.com
Thanks and best to all,
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
http://donorgroupsnyc.blogspot.com/