Real-life variations on the theme of family: 'The Good Life,' 'Donor Unknown,' 'Gone' | Capital New York

http://www.capitalnewyork.com/article/culture/2011/04/1898833/real-life-variations-theme-family-good-life-donor-unknown-gone

Sara Axel
516-967-7430

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

ANTI-TRUST CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT FILED AGAINST SART/ASRM BY EGG DONOR

The Donor is saying she could have made more money and that ASRM guidelines are rules by which fertility clinics comply with or they lose their ASRM endorsement.

I wonder what Jennifer Lahl, producer of Eggsploitation would say about that. Her answer in Q&A at film screenings about the lure of donor compensation higher than the ASRM guidelines of not exceeding $10k is that those guidelines are ''meaningless''. Apparently.some donors and agencies are pretty angry that these guidelines are actually followed by the industry in general, as if colluding or price-fixing.

I will try to follow-up by posting anything ASRM publishes as a reply to this suit if I see anything.

http://classactionlawsuitsinthenews.com/class-action-lawsuit-complaints/human-egg-donor-services-antitrust-class-action-lawsuit-complaint/

Workshops, Books and Spring Wishes from IAC Center

April, 2011     Volume 7,  Number 2 Hello, I hope you will join us this spring for a brand new workshop: Frontload Your Child NOW for the challenges of Adolescence offered in BOTH Montclair on May 7, 2011 and Pennington May 14, 2011; and check out some great reading suggestions here too. Lately I have been reading A LOT.  This may be due to the crazy weather which meant more time indoors; or possibly because reading keeps me on the stair master just a little bit longer, or that there are just so many good books.  I am up to a book a week and loving it. Some of these books have infertility and adoption themes, so I would like to share those with you. "Moloka'i"  is a beautiful and moving story about Rachel, a Hawaiian woman who contracts leprosy as a seven-year-old child in the 1890s and is deported to the island of Moloka'i, where she grows to adulthood in a quarantined settlement. We follow Rachel from youth, to her marriage to a fellow leper; to the birth of their healthy daughter, who they must give up for adoption to prevent infection; to Rachel's final years after sulfa drugs are discovered as a cure, leaving her free to seek out her family and daughter. Whether you read "Moloka'i"  for the history, to witness Rachel's resilience or to learn about adoption triad themes, this book is a great read.      On Fertile Ground: Healing Infertility.  by Helen Adrienne, a RESOLVE therapist, hypnotist and well-respected colleague of mine approaches the mind/body experience of infertility with practical exercises and solid mind/body stress reduction techniques.  Her approach provides inspiring benefits for building resilience, and learning how to respond rather than react to all kinds of life challenges.   In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You To Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends  This is THE GIFT for your friends and family so they can understand and support your adoption journey. All I can say is that we are very lucky that Elisabeth O'Toole wrote this book because she really gets what this experience is all about, and coaches those you love to get it too.    A revised and updated version Adam Pertman's Adoption Nation  is about the changing role of adoption in American society; and includes current portrayals of adoption triad members and solid analysis about the politics, legalities, economics, and sociology of adoption. Putting adoption in its social context can be helpful to you, your family and friends.  I wrote a new Adoptive Families Magazine (March/April issue) article: Surviving Infertility   about what it's normal to feel, even after you adopt and fall in love with your child. It may not be what you expected and in that way validating for many of you. Speaking of children, it is never too early to start looking ahead! Whether you are a parent or a parent-to-be we recommend that you join us for our May Workshop:  Frontload Your Child NOW for the Challenges of Adolescence.  We are offering this workshop in Montclair  on May 7,2011 and in Pennington  May 14, 2011.    This cutting edge workshop about the challenges of parenting came out of numerous IAC Center Counselor case discussion meetings in which it was often quite clear to us that families presenting with concerns about their kids would have benefited greatly if they had come into counseling much earlier. Early intervention or prevention that results from looking ahead and thinking through certain issues gives parents a leg up. You can consciously develop parenting styles and skills that will position you and your children better for the inevitable challenges of the older child and teen years. And of course it is much easier to intervene before a child or often a parent's suffering has gone on for awhile. So join us... because they ALL grow up! And you want to help your child to be the best he or she can be.     With the weather finally becoming beautiful, my plan is to invest in some really comfortable outside chairs so I can continue my reading odyssey in the fresh air. Please send me your picks as there are never too many books! I am at JMantellmsw@iaccenter.com and welcome your suggestions, and any questions or comments about our favorite topics: infertility, adoption and resilience. Dare I say it.....Happy Spring!    IAC Center Director Upcoming IAC Center Workshops Frontload Your Child Now to Meet the Challenges of Adolescence - Pennington, NJ Frontload Your Child Now to Meet the Challenges of Adolescence - Montclair, NJ Crossing the Bridge from Infertility to Adoption and Third Party Reproductive Options Workshop - Princeton, NJ IAC Center Groups with Openings See our calendar   We have many groups for: o    Infertility o    Pre-adoptive parents o    Adoptive Parents o    Children and Teens We LOVE groups and believe that there is nothing like support to help you through the hard times and to increase your resilience to deal with adversity. Learn something, feel better, even have a laugh.  Visit our Calendar to learn more. Counseling offers a non-biased overview of family building options to facilitate individuals and couples in making timely decisions that are mindful of long term implications. Using a life-long short-term counseling model, counseling is available throughout the adoption life cycle for all adoption triad members.

My Great Story-Living with Down Syndrome

This was a fantastic segment on Talk Stoop with an actor who has been on television and is involved with this project. He would like to call it UP Syndrome.

http://ndss.org/index.php?option=com_mgs

Book Chat-NYTimes.com

Discusses nature and nurture with references to twin and adoption studies.

http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/04/07/the-case-for-having-more-kids/?partner=rss&emc=rss

Arkansas Supreme Court strikes down adoption ban | Keen News Service

http://www.keennewsservice.com/2011/04/07/arkansas-supreme-court-strikes-down-adoption-ban/

From Mikki Morrissette: Special Resources for Single Women Building Families

As we develop more (largely free) e-books and other special guides for the Choice Mom community, I thought it would be helpful to list everything so far available. This list will grow in 2011, as we emphasize e-guides, including the upcoming Choice Mom E-Guide to Embryo Donation.
Please feel free to post this compilation on your website or otherwise share with your community. We'd love to collaborate on e-guides on other topics in 2011. Send me your thoughts.
If it's easier, this is a direct link to the ChoiceMoms.org post that provides direct links to the guides:
http://www.choicemoms.org/blog/383/special_choice_mom_resource_compilation

Special Resources for the Choice Mom/SMC community
"http://www.choicemoms.org/blog/379/new_guide_to_sperm_banks_and_donor_conception/">Choice Mom Guide to Donor Sperm
The 28-page guidebook offers Q&A about key sperm bank policies... suggestions on how to make contact with donor families... resources for talking to your child... explanations about washed v. unwashed and more... expert insight on genetic testing... and a checklist of questions to ask your sperm bank.
http://www.choicemoms.org/blog/56/do_i_have_a_dad/ Do I Have a Dad? CD
This special 50-minute audio compilation features interviews with four experts (including two therapists from the Bay Area) about talking to our children about "daddies" and donors. It includes conversations with six Choice Moms about the kinds of questions and concerns they face as their children start using the daddy term or connect with their known donors. And it includes the insight of an anonymous donor who has had contact with grown offspring.
http://www.choicemoms.org/blog/231/choice_mom_guide_to_fertility/Choice Moms Guide to Fertility
Excerpt, from Choice Mom Cathi: "I never knew what a dolt I was about female fertility until I tried to understand my own. I wish it was as easy as coping with a bad golf game or quitting smoking. Practice doesn't help, and there are no tasty spearmint Bun-in-the-Oven gums to chew. No, there are long uncomfortable minutes with your toes in the air (I seem to recall that some don't conceive this way, but I'm having trouble remembering the concept). I tried ovulation test strips. These are great because I never get tired of peeing on things, especially my own hands."
http://www.choicemoms.org/blog/230/choice_mom_guide_to_adoption/Choice Mom Guide to Adoption
A 100-page compilation of expert insights and personal Choice Mom stories about the myths and realities of: building transracial families, negotiating open relationships with birth parents, the cost and accessibility of adoption to single women, bonding with your adopted child, parenting over 40, foster care options, and much more.
http://www.choicemoms.org/blog/226/what_choice_moms_are_listening_to/Choice Chat podcasts
With more than 34,000 downloads, these popular conversations cover everything from negotiating with a known donor, to everything you might want to know about at-home insemination, to profiles of women on the Choice Mom journey.
http://www.choicemoms.org/blog/327/happy_new_year_choice_moms/Choice of Choice Moms: 2010
Our top tips featured on ChoiceMoms.org in 2010, featuring everything from Organization to Building a Support Network, Q&A to Commentary.
http://www.choicemoms.org/blog/326/new_our_top_10_choice_mom_profiles/Top 10 Choice Mom Profiles: 2010
A compilation of some of the best personal stories shared on ChoiceMoms.org in 2010.
http://www.choicemoms.org/blog/233/voices_of_donor_conception/Voices of Donor Conception
Whether you are married or single, understanding the ramifications of using donor gametes can be scary. Here are unique perspectives shared from donor-conceived offspring, an anonymous donor, and the co-founder of Donor Sibling Registry.
Mikki Morrissette
Founder, Choice Moms
http://www.choicemoms.org
fax: (612) 225-1809

EGGSPLOITATION, SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT Link To Radio Show MARCH 31, 2011

http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/52914/moving-beyond-exploitation-setting-the-record-straight-about-egg-donation

Occasional ART Series on NPR .org

Thanks to Terri Davidson for sending this link: http://www.npr.org/2011/03/30/134960899/taming-ivfs-twin-trend

It is on Single Embryo Transfer. Barb Collura and Dr. Stillman from Shady Grove were interviewed.

According to Terri, "It was excellent, very proactive and just the type of press the field needs".

Terri Davidson, Davidson Communications

www.terridavidsoncommunications.com

www.fertilitymarketingmaven.com

Twitter: @marketingmaven

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Books and Apps Teaching Kids About Their Emotions

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/parenting-family/story/2011/04/New-books-apps-teach-kids-about-their-emotions/45659778/1