September 13, 2010, led by Nancy Freeman-Carroll, PsyD.
The NYC Gathering Group joined together to review some of the books available to introduce the idea of assisted conception to children. There was a range of opinions about which books "spoke" most directly to each of us. Some especially liked the lovely illustrations in "Mommy was your tummy big?" Others, the books that gave less information, and left more room for the reader/mother to fill in details with her own story. The best of these seemed to mention less about donors and details of medical treatment, and more about how each family is unique and special.
We agreed that the books with more information about IVF, DE, DI are more appropriate for somewhat older children, but somewhat problematic, as many of them include a lot of references to the parents' struggle with infertility and how that was presented. There was consensus that too much talk about doctors and treatments could trouble a young child, and lead them to be concerned for their parents.
There is no perfect story, but all of the books are helpful because they encourage parents to speak to children about the special ways they were conceived. At the moment, we are all focused on talking to young children, stay tuned as we think more about how to talk to older kids too.
Nancy Freeman-Carroll, Psy.D.
350 Central Park West, Suite 13E
New York, NY 10025