The NYC Gathering

The NYC Gathering
Our Community

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Special Resolve Mtg 2-7-10, Disclosure with Donor-conceived teen

Harriett Rovner Ferguson will lead us in a discussion for our Long Island Peer Group on 3rd Party Reproduction and Parenting on disclosure. The meeting will be held in Stonybrook Long Island at the Office of Reproductive Specialists of NY, Dr. San Romano, 12:30-2pm.

Space is limited, DE-conceived Teen Maddie will be attending to talk to us about her experience and is notably very comfortable in speaking to adult groups like us.
Please contact for more info.

Monday, January 25, 2010

What is the NYC Gathering 1.25.10

The NYC Gathering is the name I gave the meetings I was holding, starting in 2002, when I couldnt find a support group to fit my needs and started my own. Instead of putting "DE" in the subject line I found out that people preferred not to have that info so easily seen on their email and the name stuck.

Here is how I define it today and what you will find listed on this Blogspot/Webpage.

The NYC Gathering Womens Dinners in Midtown-someone just asked me why dont we include men. And what do we do at a womens dinner. We cover whatever anyone wants, whatever point they are at in their journey. Unless there is a specific topic listed, almost every group I run is for people on the spectrum of third-party familiy-building, from considering it, trying to conceive, to parenting. We open the group up on occasion to professionals to make presentations, ie Lisa Schuman speaking on Adoption vs DE, or to learn and offer their support and expertise, ie Elizabeth Silk and others.

As for the Women Only part-We can try a mixed dinner. Please feel free to contact me to discuss it.

The NYC Gathering All-inclusive is for anyone on the spectrum as noted above, and anyone you want to bring that is interested in the process for themselves, to support you, as a friend or family member and kids. The kids usually get involved in their own stuff, playing or whatever, and the grown-ups hang-out. For me this is about friendship, creating community, new connections, support and something for our kids, so they will be able to know each other and be there for each other too. A new addition to the NYC Gathering is the professionally-led workshop. I will also be putting together a new list of volunteers who have offered to do individual peer-support for anyone new who would like to talk to another person about their experience.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

NYC Update 1.24.10

Please see updates to Spring Schedule and New Events added to December 16, 2009 post, please look for the following in BLUE:

NYC Womens Dinners-special event April 26th on Disclosure with Nancy Kaufman.

Resolve LI meeting for May date changed and an additional event on Feb 7 on Disclosure Led by Harriet Rovner Ferguson.

Judy Kottick's Professionally-led support group and links to the YOUTUBE series.

NYC All-inclusive Gatherings-Feb 21 and April 11, new venue on the UWS, $5 per family to cover the rental of the playspace, kick in another $5 for if you can.

We had a great time on January 14th at dinner with Diane Ehrensaft, author of Mommies, Daddies, Donors & Surrogates. She was as great to be with in person as she is in her book, helping us to sort out the questions and the answers that lie before us as a diverse group of parents and parents-to-be. We welcomed a few newbies, saw friends from various dinners and support boards.

Diane was as gracious, generous, and comforting as you would imagine her to be. We raised $180 in her honor for

From Lori, mom via donor sister...a few take aways from the dinner:

1) There are SO many ways to build a family and in the end, the result is a child...the same result when the traditional way works.

2) I really appreciated all Diane's insight on the age break-downs on telling. We are at that age now, and it gave me some good pointers.

3) It doesn't matter if your child looks like you or not, they are their own unique individual.

My own take-aways: The people that intended to have the child are the parents, period and 7 yrs old is a 'magical' age for disclosure.

This weekend I got to talk to my kids about not knowing whether they will have big feet like me (size 10, not likely) Joey asked, but thats how it started, or average (assuming) like our donor, whom Joey assumes is dead .She thinks everyone she never met is dead and I have nothing to do with that-she's just been obsessed with death again foir the last 6 months. I explained that I've never seen shoe size on a donor profile and that we may never know, and no, she's probably not dead since she donated for us at 27 yo and she'd be 33 now.