Thank you Eric Blyth and BioNews.
http://www.bionews.org.uk/page_110888.asp
The NYC Gathering
Our Community
Monday, October 31, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Does the Religious Right Really Care about Children?
The Religious Right is having the same effect on heterosexual families created through donor and surrogacy.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/blackberry/p.html?id=1063783
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/blackberry/p.html?id=1063783
Adoption on TV: "Modern Family" or "Parenthood"? - Martha Nichols - Open Salon
In drawing parallels to adoption and how far it has come in public support and acceptance as compared to third party reproduction and parenting, I am struck with this comment by the author.
"I long for a form of community my own tiny family of three doesn't have."
I wish families created through donor conception and surrogacy had half the community and resources that are available to adoptive families.
In the comments, someone says "And Julia, I lost count of how many times they said "buying" a baby. That sounds so crude. Even if it is partially true, paying for medical care and legal expenses could constitute buying, I can't imagine the "talk" they will have with their adopted child. "Honey, we wanted you so much, money was no object. We paid top dollar!."
http://open.salon.com/blog/martha_nichols/2011/10/27/adoption_on_tv_modern_family_or_parenthood
"I long for a form of community my own tiny family of three doesn't have."
I wish families created through donor conception and surrogacy had half the community and resources that are available to adoptive families.
In the comments, someone says "And Julia, I lost count of how many times they said "buying" a baby. That sounds so crude. Even if it is partially true, paying for medical care and legal expenses could constitute buying, I can't imagine the "talk" they will have with their adopted child. "Honey, we wanted you so much, money was no object. We paid top dollar!."
http://open.salon.com/blog/martha_nichols/2011/10/27/adoption_on_tv_modern_family_or_parenthood
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Reinventing the Family: Good Intentions Are Not Enough
Some of the best examples of why people don't tell their kids they are donor conceived are in this article.
The terminology infuriates me. My comments in BLUE in this piece about the new study by Elizabeth Marquardt of The Institute For American Values (because obviously, people who have their families via donor conception and other third party reproduction don't have any American Values).
"As marriage rates plummet and the percentage of intact families sharply declines, experiments that challenge the fundamental nature of the family are adding to the chaos that threatens civil society (having kids and starting a family is an experiment? Threatens? What fundamental nature of the family?).
A new report released this month by the Institute for American Values and the Commission on Parenthood's Future explores the impact on children of such experimental arrangements (family is an arrangement? throughout the world. The findings are cause for concern.
The spectrum of associations ( an association?) referred to as "families" (putting the word in quotes is supposed to mean it's use is totally bogus) ranges from single parenthood by choice to networks of multiple adults called "parents." Often masking the profoundly negative consequences for children of these experimental living arrangements (maybe they wouldn't be so negatively effected if people like you weren't shoving it in their face about how bad you think they and their family are just for being who they are), those who advocate such alternative household structures (another strange name for family) describe them in Orwellian terms."
(PS-just one more reminder that having good intentions are just not good enough. I wonder what, if anything, about me and my family would ever be good enough for you.)
http://blog.heritage.org/2011/10/24/reinventing-the-family-good-intentions-are-not-enough/
The terminology infuriates me. My comments in BLUE in this piece about the new study by Elizabeth Marquardt of The Institute For American Values (because obviously, people who have their families via donor conception and other third party reproduction don't have any American Values).
"As marriage rates plummet and the percentage of intact families sharply declines, experiments that challenge the fundamental nature of the family are adding to the chaos that threatens civil society (having kids and starting a family is an experiment? Threatens? What fundamental nature of the family?).
A new report released this month by the Institute for American Values and the Commission on Parenthood's Future explores the impact on children of such experimental arrangements (family is an arrangement? throughout the world. The findings are cause for concern.
The spectrum of associations ( an association?) referred to as "families" (putting the word in quotes is supposed to mean it's use is totally bogus) ranges from single parenthood by choice to networks of multiple adults called "parents." Often masking the profoundly negative consequences for children of these experimental living arrangements (maybe they wouldn't be so negatively effected if people like you weren't shoving it in their face about how bad you think they and their family are just for being who they are), those who advocate such alternative household structures (another strange name for family) describe them in Orwellian terms."
(PS-just one more reminder that having good intentions are just not good enough. I wonder what, if anything, about me and my family would ever be good enough for you.)
http://blog.heritage.org/2011/10/24/reinventing-the-family-good-intentions-are-not-enough/
Who Are You? The Ethics and Impact of Donor Conception | Independent Lens Blog
"Donor-conceived children often feel as adopted kids do: that the secrecy around their creation makes it feel taboo or shameful."
I think the secrecy is because of what's waiting on the other side of disclosure and that is was causes the shame.
If we are open about donor conception, how can we then be prepared when our kids read and hear from allover the media and close to home that all ivf and third party reproduction is unethical in the first place, that its also "the fertility industry's dirty little secret", and that parents like me have used an egg donor and "left them to be used and then forgotten", we are going to need more tools than a few children's books to deal with this issue,
Remember, its about the kids, right?
http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/blog/who-are-you-the-ethics-and-impact-of-donor-conception
I think the secrecy is because of what's waiting on the other side of disclosure and that is was causes the shame.
If we are open about donor conception, how can we then be prepared when our kids read and hear from allover the media and close to home that all ivf and third party reproduction is unethical in the first place, that its also "the fertility industry's dirty little secret", and that parents like me have used an egg donor and "left them to be used and then forgotten", we are going to need more tools than a few children's books to deal with this issue,
Remember, its about the kids, right?
http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/blog/who-are-you-the-ethics-and-impact-of-donor-conception
‘Baby trafficking’ scandal just the tip of the IVF/surrogacy iceberg: expert | LifeSiteNews.com
Making the case that all IVF+Surrogacy are bad or wrong.
With more mainstream exposure than Motherlode in The NYTimes, now on CNN with Anderson Cooper, Jennifer Lahl quoted as saying that all of ivf is unethical.
She's not just Jennifer Lahl when quoted , she's Jennifer Lahl of the film Eggsploitation.
My kids will read this someday.
We need more than children's storybooks about third party reproduction to deal with how our kids will feel about what is waiting for them on the other side of our disclosure story.
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/baby-trafficking-scandal-just-the-tip-of-the-ivf-surrogacy-iceberg-expert/
With more mainstream exposure than Motherlode in The NYTimes, now on CNN with Anderson Cooper, Jennifer Lahl quoted as saying that all of ivf is unethical.
She's not just Jennifer Lahl when quoted , she's Jennifer Lahl of the film Eggsploitation.
My kids will read this someday.
We need more than children's storybooks about third party reproduction to deal with how our kids will feel about what is waiting for them on the other side of our disclosure story.
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/baby-trafficking-scandal-just-the-tip-of-the-ivf-surrogacy-iceberg-expert/
Personhood Ballot Initiative in Mississippi Could Ban Some IVF Practices - The Daily Beast
This is why I occasionally post about Reproductive Freedom. Those that are pro-personhood and anti-ivf are on the same path, leading to the same place as family + marriage-preservationists and defining it on only their terms.
From The Daily Beast, "Should Mississippi's initiative pass, 'it would ban some current practices of IVF,' acknowledges Keith Mason, the 30-year-old president of Personhood USA, an organization pushing for personhood amendments at both the state and federal level: 'The creation of 30 or 60 embryos and then picking through them to see which ones are most likely boys or girls, or basically looking at the ones you want to give life to and destroying the rest.' Eric Webb, an anti-abortion Mississippi ob-gyn and prominent supporter of Amendment 26, has said repeatedly that it will outlaw the freezing of embryos, an important part of the IVF process."
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/10/24/personhood-ballot-initiative-in-mississippi-could-ban-some-ivf-practices.html
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
From The Daily Beast, "Should Mississippi's initiative pass, 'it would ban some current practices of IVF,' acknowledges Keith Mason, the 30-year-old president of Personhood USA, an organization pushing for personhood amendments at both the state and federal level: 'The creation of 30 or 60 embryos and then picking through them to see which ones are most likely boys or girls, or basically looking at the ones you want to give life to and destroying the rest.' Eric Webb, an anti-abortion Mississippi ob-gyn and prominent supporter of Amendment 26, has said repeatedly that it will outlaw the freezing of embryos, an important part of the IVF process."
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/10/24/personhood-ballot-initiative-in-mississippi-could-ban-some-ivf-practices.html
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Friday, October 21, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Bedfordshire Local News
Here's how its' working in England for one clinic.
http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/News/Debate-welcomed-on-egg-and-sperm-donation-18102011.htm
http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/News/Debate-welcomed-on-egg-and-sperm-donation-18102011.htm
The Truth About Trying - Resolve + Redbook
http://www.redbookmag.com/health-wellness/advice/infertility-video-series?click=pp
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Donor Unknown | Resources on Donor Conception | Independent Lens | PBS
http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/donor-unknown/donor-conceived-resources.html
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
PBS this weekend: Getting to Know a Sperm-Donor Dad - NYTimes.com
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/10/20/getting-to-know-a-sperm-donor-dad/
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
My check for Lifetime Membership to The DSR. IMG-20111017
516-967-7430
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Couple Sues Fertility Clinic After Baby Was Born With A Disability
If you read this article, please also read the 1st comment and 2nd comments that are posted.
I am glad there is a voice of reason and someone to call upon others who are quick to judge, to take a look at another angle on the people's character and their situation.
http://blogs.babble.com/being-pregnant/2011/10/17/couple-sues-fertility-clinic-after-baby-was-born-with-a-disability/
I am glad there is a voice of reason and someone to call upon others who are quick to judge, to take a look at another angle on the people's character and their situation.
http://blogs.babble.com/being-pregnant/2011/10/17/couple-sues-fertility-clinic-after-baby-was-born-with-a-disability/
Monday, October 17, 2011
Ryan Kramer and his Mom Wendy at The NYC Gathering OCT 17,2011
Hot topic at tonight's dinner, with our guests Wendy Kramer and her son Ryan Kramer of The Donor Sibling Registry, is featured Today On Slate.com.
Who's Your Mommy?
Should they tell their twins they came from donor eggs?
http://slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2011/10/should_they_tell_their_twins_they_came_from_donor_eggs_.html
Thanks again to Wendy and Ryan and to everyone who attended.
More to follow, some of us struggle with looking at sperm donors and egg donors being the same thing, the lack of real, widely accepted language on how to define these extended family relationships, and how about the parents of the donors-are they grandparents?.....and yes, I joined. Membership on The DSR is 1 year for $75, Lifetime for $175.
Who's Your Mommy?
Should they tell their twins they came from donor eggs?
http://slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2011/10/should_they_tell_their_twins_they_came_from_donor_eggs_.html
Thanks again to Wendy and Ryan and to everyone who attended.
More to follow, some of us struggle with looking at sperm donors and egg donors being the same thing, the lack of real, widely accepted language on how to define these extended family relationships, and how about the parents of the donors-are they grandparents?.....and yes, I joined. Membership on The DSR is 1 year for $75, Lifetime for $175.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Books at 1/2 price: infertility, adoption and other family building challenges from Perspectives Press, Inc.
Perspectives Press is going out of business on Dec 31/11, so prices on all of their books have been cut by 50% until quantities are gone.
Topics include:
* infertility
* treatment
* reproductive health
* child free living
* adoption
* books for children on adoption
Info:
http://www.perspectivespress.com/productlist
http://www.perspectivespress.com/productlist
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Topics include:
* infertility
* treatment
* reproductive health
* child free living
* adoption
* books for children on adoption
Info:
http://www.perspectivespress.com/productlist
http://www.perspectivespress.com/productlist
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Talking to Children About Donor Conception - Denver
If anyone attended that would like to share any re caps or reviews of this or any similar events for sharing on this blog or privately,please contact me directly at saxel95@aol.com
Talking to Children About Donor Conception -- Events Denver ...
This is a professionally led workshop for parents of donor conceived children. It will be held Saturday, October 8, 2011. For more information go to click here.
denver.momslikeme.com/members/eventactions.aspx?g...m...
Talking to Children About Donor Conception -- Events Denver ...
This is a professionally led workshop for parents of donor conceived children. It will be held Saturday, October 8, 2011. For more information go to click here.
denver.momslikeme.com/members/eventactions.aspx?g...m...
The Donor Sibling Registry TV Show is available online.
The Donor Sibling Registry tv show is now available to view online.
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh0XTWQnc2EkQI49zg
Wendy Kramer
www.donorsiblingregistry.com
303-258-0902
"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other wings." - Hodding Carter
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh0XTWQnc2EkQI49zg
Wendy Kramer
www.donorsiblingregistry.com
303-258-0902
"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other wings." - Hodding Carter
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
From The BioNews Team - participate and read about the Genes and race poll
I've been fascinated about this aspect of donor conception,especially (and obviously) about its relevance in egg donation.
"Have your say about genes, ancestry and racial identity on BioNews
Throughout 2011, the charity that publishes BioNews - the Progress Educational Trust (PET) - has been running a Wellcome Trust supported project entitled 'Genes, Ancestry and Racial Identity: Does It Matter Where Your Genes Come From?'. The project is now concluding with an online poll, which we'd like to encourage all BioNews readers to complete.
The six questions take only a couple of minutes to complete, all responses will be anonymous, and the results will be discussed in an article on BioNews later this year. You can complete the poll here.
As the BBC launches its 'Mixed Race Britain' season, the meaning of 'race' and its connection (or lack of connection) to genetics is a subject of great public interest, but is also fraught with controversy and confusion. Why not give us your views on questions such as whether we should abandon the word 'race'? Whether it is possible for a person to change their race? Whether you would be offended if a medical professional asked to know your race before treating you?
The BioNews team"
http://www.bionews.org.uk/racepoll/dinfo/YNph1tXOsnQ6BdCg7jV2xd6s
"Have your say about genes, ancestry and racial identity on BioNews
Throughout 2011, the charity that publishes BioNews - the Progress Educational Trust (PET) - has been running a Wellcome Trust supported project entitled 'Genes, Ancestry and Racial Identity: Does It Matter Where Your Genes Come From?'. The project is now concluding with an online poll, which we'd like to encourage all BioNews readers to complete.
The six questions take only a couple of minutes to complete, all responses will be anonymous, and the results will be discussed in an article on BioNews later this year. You can complete the poll here.
As the BBC launches its 'Mixed Race Britain' season, the meaning of 'race' and its connection (or lack of connection) to genetics is a subject of great public interest, but is also fraught with controversy and confusion. Why not give us your views on questions such as whether we should abandon the word 'race'? Whether it is possible for a person to change their race? Whether you would be offended if a medical professional asked to know your race before treating you?
The BioNews team"
http://www.bionews.org.uk/racepoll/dinfo/YNph1tXOsnQ6BdCg7jV2xd6s
Monday, October 3, 2011
MAYBE I'LL JOIN THE DSR WHEN WE MEET WENDY IN PERSON AT THE NYC GATHERING DINNER ON OCTOBER 17, 2011
PLEASE CONFIRM YOUR RESERVATION FOR THE NYC GATHERING DINNER ON OCTOBER 17,2011 BY DIRECT EMAIL TO SAXEL95@AOL.COM.
WENDY KRAMER AND HER SON RYAN WILL GIVE US AN OVERVIEW OF THE DONOR SIBLING REGISTRY AND TELL US MORE ABOUT THEIR OWN EXPERIENCE AS A DONOR-CONCEIVED FAMILY. WE WILL HAVE AN OPEN FORMAT DISCUSSION AND ALL ARE WELCOME TO ATTEND WITH A CONFIRMED REGISTRATION.
THANKS AND BEST TO ALL!
WENDY KRAMER AND HER SON RYAN WILL GIVE US AN OVERVIEW OF THE DONOR SIBLING REGISTRY AND TELL US MORE ABOUT THEIR OWN EXPERIENCE AS A DONOR-CONCEIVED FAMILY. WE WILL HAVE AN OPEN FORMAT DISCUSSION AND ALL ARE WELCOME TO ATTEND WITH A CONFIRMED REGISTRATION.
THANKS AND BEST TO ALL!
OCT 3, 2011 REVISITING OCT 13,2010, ORIGINALLY POSTED MARCH 2009
I HAVE SHARED THIS TWICE BEFORE, MY KIDS ARE NOW 7. MAYBE I'LL JOIN THE DSR WHEN WE MEET WENDY IN PERSON AT THE NYC GATHERING DINNER ON OCT 17, 2011.
''Nancy and Elizabeth run a great group. We shared our thoughts, feelings and experiences and everyone was heard and supported, all within our varying opinions and perspectives.
Particularly helpful to me was hearing Eric Schwartzman's views on being a DI Dad and we all considered how donor conception and all the 3rd party options impact our kids and how we think we will handle it into the future.
For me, I'm not ready for the DSR, but learning from everyone here at this meeting (pro and con), I am trying to remain open-minded and gear myself up for whatever approach my kids want to take when the time comes. My aim would be to support them and help them accomplish their goals and meet their own needs. I hope they too will share their journey with me.
I was also able to explore my own issues as they pertain to DE, ie my family of origin, my heritage, my genome. And back to understanding that it isnt just about me anymore. As Nancy has told me, this is now OUR FAMILY story, not just mine or my kids.''
''Nancy and Elizabeth run a great group. We shared our thoughts, feelings and experiences and everyone was heard and supported, all within our varying opinions and perspectives.
Particularly helpful to me was hearing Eric Schwartzman's views on being a DI Dad and we all considered how donor conception and all the 3rd party options impact our kids and how we think we will handle it into the future.
For me, I'm not ready for the DSR, but learning from everyone here at this meeting (pro and con), I am trying to remain open-minded and gear myself up for whatever approach my kids want to take when the time comes. My aim would be to support them and help them accomplish their goals and meet their own needs. I hope they too will share their journey with me.
I was also able to explore my own issues as they pertain to DE, ie my family of origin, my heritage, my genome. And back to understanding that it isnt just about me anymore. As Nancy has told me, this is now OUR FAMILY story, not just mine or my kids.''
REVIEW AND REPEAT SCHEDULE Style Exposed: Sperm Donor: 74 Kids and More
THE SHOW IS BEING REPEATED THIS WEEK. I WATCHED IT LAST WEEK AND HAVE TO SAY IT WAS VERY WELL DONE, THOUGHTFUL AND ENGAGING. WENDY KRAMER DID AN AMAZING JOB OF PRODUCING AND THE PEOPLE IN IT ARE JUST FANTASTIC.
Style Exposed: Sperm Donor: 74 Kids and More
http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/b7656_74_kids_more_on_way_style_presents.html
Follow Ben, a former sperm donor, on his journey to meet the 70+ children his donations have created. Additionally, Adrienne and Karis, half-sisters from a separate donor, reunite.
Style Exposed: Sperm Donor: 74 Kids and More
http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/b7656_74_kids_more_on_way_style_presents.html
Follow Ben, a former sperm donor, on his journey to meet the 70+ children his donations have created. Additionally, Adrienne and Karis, half-sisters from a separate donor, reunite.
Tuesday, Oct 4 @ 5 PM, EST
Wednesday, Oct 5 @2 AM & 12 PM, EST
Friday, Oct 7 @1 AM, EST
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