May-June 2009

Tuesday May 12, TPPN Meeting, Upper West Side, Thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com or call 212-873-6435 for more info.

Thursday May 14,Building Families Through Egg Donation, Sperm Donation and Gestational Surrogacy, 6pm in NYC at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th, presented by New England Fertility Institute. Contact mwelch@nefertility.com or call 203-325-3200 x 329. Reservations Needed Please.

Sunday May 17th-All-inclusive Gathering at Saddle River County Park in Paramus NJ, 1-4pm. All MVED, PVED FVED SMC TPPN are welcome and an indoor back-up is planned if the weather isnt cooperating.

Weds May 20th-Womens Dinner in Midtown, 5:30-7:30pm.

Weds May 27th-Long Island Resolve Peer Support Group: 3rd Part Parenting and Repro Mtg in East Meadow, 6:30-8:30pm, Women only.

Tuesday June 9, TPPN Meeting, Upper West Side, Thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com or call 212-873-6435 for more info.

Thursday June 18, Womens Dinner in Midtown, 5L30-7:30pm.

Thursday June 25, Island Resolve Peer Support Group: 3rd Part Parenting and Repro Mtg in East Meadow, 6:30-8:30pm, Women only.

Sunday June 28th, Upper West Side, All-inclusive Gathering.All MVED, PVED FVED SMC TPPN and anyone interested may attend.

May-June 2009

Tuesday May 12, TPPN Meeting, Upper West Side, Thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com or call 212-873-6435 for more info.

Thursday May 14,Building Families Through Egg Donation, Sperm Donation and Gestational Surrogacy, 6pm in NYC at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th, presented by New England Fertility Institute. Contact mwelch@nefertility.com or call 203-325-3200 x 329. Reservations Needed Please.

Sunday May 17th-All-inclusive Gathering at Saddle River County Park in Paramus NJ, 1-4pm. All MVED, PVED FVED SMC TPPN are welcome and an indoor back-up is planned if the weather isnt cooperating.

Weds May 20th-Womens Dinner in Midtown, 5:30-7:30pm.

Weds May 27th-Long Island Resolve Peer Support Group: 3rd Part Parenting and Repro Mtg in East Meadow, 6:30-8:30pm, Women only.

Tuesday June 9, TPPN Meeting, Upper West Side, Thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com or call 212-873-6435 for more info.

Thursday June 18, Womens Dinner in Midtown, 5L30-7:30pm.

Thursday June 25, Island Resolve Peer Support Group: 3rd Part Parenting and Repro Mtg in East Meadow, 6:30-8:30pm, Women only.

Sunday June 28th, Upper West Side, All-inclusive Gathering.All MVED, PVED FVED SMC TPPN and anyone interested may attend.

April -May Mtg update

Please be advised that the NYC Gathering on 4-26-09 has been cancelled and note the following meeting dates for April and May so far:

April 14-TPPN-UWS.
April 21-NYC Womens Dinner.
April 23-LI Resolve.
May 3-NYC All-inclusive.
May 12-TPPN-UWS.

April -May Mtg update

Please be advised that the NYC Gathering on 4-26-09 has been cancelled and note the following meeting dates for April and May so far:

April 14-TPPN-UWS.
April 21-NYC Womens Dinner.
April 23-LI Resolve.
May 3-NYC All-inclusive.
May 12-TPPN-UWS.

3 NYC Gathering Members added to list of volunteers

Additional peer support is available from 3 of our group members. All are good friends who have made this offer to be able to help others one-on-one by phone appointment.

Please contact me if you would like to talk to one of these women about de, de/ds for smc's, de/gs, the journey as well as parenting.

If you would like to become a volunteer please let me know.

3 NYC Gathering Members added to list of volunteers

Additional peer support is available from 3 of our group members. All are good friends who have made this offer to be able to help others one-on-one by phone appointment.

Please contact me if you would like to talk to one of these women about de, de/ds for smc's, de/gs, the journey as well as parenting.

If you would like to become a volunteer please let me know.

TPPN Meeting Thank You Note

Thanks to all who attended last nights meeting. You were all really there for me and I appreciate it so much.

Nancy and Elizabeth run a great group. We shared our thoughts, feelings and experiences and everyone was heard and supported, all within our varying opinions and perspectives.

Particularly helpful to me was hearing Eric Schwartzman's views on being a DI Dad and we all considered how donor conception and all the 3rd party options impact our kids and how we think we will handle it into the future.

For me, I'm not ready for the DSR, but learning from everyone here at this meeting (pro and con), I am trying to remain open-minded and gear myself up for whatever approach my kids want to take when the time comes. My aim would be to support them and help them accomplish their goals and meet their own needs. I hope they too will share their journey with me.

I was also able to explore my own issues as they pertain to DE, ie my family of origin, my heritage, my genome. And back to understanding that it isnt just about me anymore. As Nancy has told me, this is now OUR FAMILY story, not just mine or my kids.

Thanks again to all who attended and to Elizabeth and Nancy for hosting and facilitating.

The TPPN Meeting is held on the 2nd Tuesday of the month, from 7-8:30 on the Upper West Side. Call 212-873-6435 or 212-772-1200, email- thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com and the cost is $30.

TPPN Meeting Thank You Note

Thanks to all who attended last nights meeting. You were all really there for me and I appreciate it so much.

Nancy and Elizabeth run a great group. We shared our thoughts, feelings and experiences and everyone was heard and supported, all within our varying opinions and perspectives.

Particularly helpful to me was hearing Eric Schwartzman's views on being a DI Dad and we all considered how donor conception and all the 3rd party options impact our kids and how we think we will handle it into the future.

For me, I'm not ready for the DSR, but learning from everyone here at this meeting (pro and con), I am trying to remain open-minded and gear myself up for whatever approach my kids want to take when the time comes. My aim would be to support them and help them accomplish their goals and meet their own needs. I hope they too will share their journey with me.

I was also able to explore my own issues as they pertain to DE, ie my family of origin, my heritage, my genome. And back to understanding that it isnt just about me anymore. As Nancy has told me, this is now OUR FAMILY story, not just mine or my kids.

Thanks again to all who attended and to Elizabeth and Nancy for hosting and facilitating.

The TPPN Meeting is held on the 2nd Tuesday of the month, from 7-8:30 on the Upper West Side. Call 212-873-6435 or 212-772-1200, email- thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com and the cost is $10.

From Lonny Higgins, Author of "Creating Life Against The Odds

I am honored and extend my thanks again to the amazing and wonderful Lonny Higgins for the first blog entry....


I am a 62 year old practicing Ob/Gyn, author of the book Creating Life Against The Odds, The Journey From Infertility to Parenthood which you might have fun checking out through my website at http://www.lonnyhiggins.com/. But I am also an elementary school substitute teacher, an addicted distance paddler of the Molokai Channel and a neophyte farmer of artichokes on the Big Island. So, how come I'm wanting to share on your blog? Mine was one of the early DE journeys of the 1990's, making me a crusader for the right of our children to know of their donors during a time when REI's thought that anonymity was the only reasonable choice. It was foremost a journey which brought me to have our third baby at the age of 50 because I couldn't bear the thought of no longer hearing the patter of tiny feet in our home. I'm a philosophical nut, too, so I'll excerpt some insights...
I find it very interesting that finally we are seeing studies about donor siblings in which, for the first time, identity/family quest behavior is no longer presumed to be stemming from a desire to understand loss, but rather from a desire to know bounty in the sense of a greater family identity. The early years of DI were so immersed in secrecy that the only paradigm we heard about was how anonymous DI was really an angst experience for the lost parent, yet I always felt that the sense of having lost something by being conceived in that way was something more due to how the information was or wasn't shared and how guilty the parent or parents felt about it, than anything to do with genes shared with those "lost dads." It is also noteworthy to me that the term donor siblings is now using the word sibling to mean anyone who shares some genes, where before it meant only those who share all their genes regardless of what roof they were raised separately beneath.We are one step closer to understanding what has been a lightbulb experience for me and that is the positive aspect of genes shared rather than owned. For our family, the sharing of genes never became the criteria for sibling identity because we fell on the other end of the spectrum entirely. We feel that sibling is defined by being raised within one family under one roof, so the basis of closeness never became one of genetic ranking. I believe the opposite end of the spectrum is finally taking a back seat when people can call those with shared genes full siblings. We are all related and at the same time someone else's child. This fundamental duality is inherent in all of nature. Nice to see it declaring itself after all these years. Hugs, Lonny

From Lonny Higgins, Author of "Creating Life Against The Odds

I am honored and extend my thanks again to the amazing and wonderful Lonny Higgins for the first blog entry....


I am a 62 year old practicing Ob/Gyn, author of the book Creating Life Against The Odds, The Journey From Infertility to Parenthood which you might have fun checking out through my website at http://www.lonnyhiggins.com/. But I am also an elementary school substitute teacher, an addicted distance paddler of the Molokai Channel and a neophyte farmer of artichokes on the Big Island. So, how come I'm wanting to share on your blog? Mine was one of the early DE journeys of the 1990's, making me a crusader for the right of our children to know of their donors during a time when REI's thought that anonymity was the only reasonable choice. It was foremost a journey which brought me to have our third baby at the age of 50 because I couldn't bear the thought of no longer hearing the patter of tiny feet in our home. I'm a philosophical nut, too, so I'll excerpt some insights...
I find it very interesting that finally we are seeing studies about donor siblings in which, for the first time, identity/family quest behavior is no longer presumed to be stemming from a desire to understand loss, but rather from a desire to know bounty in the sense of a greater family identity. The early years of DI were so immersed in secrecy that the only paradigm we heard about was how anonymous DI was really an angst experience for the lost parent, yet I always felt that the sense of having lost something by being conceived in that way was something more due to how the information was or wasn't shared and how guilty the parent or parents felt about it, than anything to do with genes shared with those "lost dads." It is also noteworthy to me that the term donor siblings is now using the word sibling to mean anyone who shares some genes, where before it meant only those who share all their genes regardless of what roof they were raised separately beneath.We are one step closer to understanding what has been a lightbulb experience for me and that is the positive aspect of genes shared rather than owned. For our family, the sharing of genes never became the criteria for sibling identity because we fell on the other end of the spectrum entirely. We feel that sibling is defined by being raised within one family under one roof, so the basis of closeness never became one of genetic ranking. I believe the opposite end of the spectrum is finally taking a back seat when people can call those with shared genes full siblings. We are all related and at the same time someone else's child. This fundamental duality is inherent in all of nature. Nice to see it declaring itself after all these years. Hugs, Lonny