Thanks to Nancy for sharing her thoughts with me before Thursday's Show on Voice America with Theresa Erickson. We'll be on at 2PM EST to talk about the film Eggsploitation.
Here's what Nancy wrote to me:
Let me put a few things into words if I may
From a medical perspective as a former OB, infertility and gyne Oncology nurse I feel for those who have such heartache getting and keeping a pregnancy. When we interview a donor, it may seem as though we are trying to talk them out of donating. We point out the pro's and cons.
I have in my posession some incredible letters written by donors to their past IP's. I have letters from donors who chose to donate more than once for the same family so their children would have their own connection. The thoughts that are expressed by these young women are amazing and very well thought out and mature. Women today are much more goal oriented than I was at their age. They have a "bucket list" of things to do before they think about having a family. They want to be prepared and ready and also continue their education while doing something fulfilling for others.
I can't explain why it happens but when the IP's and donors send notes to each other (through the agency anonymously) they find their connection with each other and that keeps them going. NOT the money. Anyone can go to the doctor's office and have vaginal ultrasounds and blood work but when a donor has heard from her IP, a simple thank you even, keeps donors going and stay on task and feel there really is a person waiting. Not just a tech in the doctors office.
I am a mother, never thought about anything other than getting married and having children after nursing school. Why should anyone be denied that option? Why can't someone make a family whole?
We live in the United States of America where we cherish our freedom...how can these people continue to argue what someones feelings are? Even if I didn't do this type of work, I would still be supportive. We have to speak up for those that have never had a family member or close friend or patient experience the loss of being able to have a healthy pregnancy and baby.
Hope this helps in some way.
Nancy Block, Donor Network Alliance firstname.lastname@example.org
Yes Nancy, it does help. Thanks for sharing this with us. I wish we had done more to thank our donor personally at the time, and had the kind of correspondence that you mention. I know she was cared for medically and treated respectfully by our clinic and that our appreciation for what she did to help us to try to start our family was conveyed to her nonetheless.