Special Spring Announcements

We are having a PVED.org Meet-up on Tues Eve, March 6th, 6:30-8:30 in midtown. Please join the meetup group by going to this link and contact me via email or on the meetup site to reserve a spot at the dinner.


http://www.meetup.com/New-York-PVED/


The next NYC Gathering is on March 20th, 2012, 6:30-8:30.
Anne Malave, PHD, and Amy Demma, Esq, will be speaking about the emotional and legal aspects of Embryo Disposition. If you have extra embryos and have completed your family then what to do next might be on your mind and you are feeling like you need to start exploring your feelings and options.


Please contact me directly for reservations, saxel95@aol.com.


Lastly, a new one-day workshop to be hosted by Lisa Schuman, LCSW, will be held after Easter and Passover. This will be modeled on the annual weekend retreat Lisa holds each year for families created through Adoption. How I've longed to have Lisa do something similar for Donor and Third Party Families!


From Lisa..."there will be a full day workshop for parents and kids on the children's disclosure issues. For the parents it will be about their feelings about disclosure and how to help the kids help themselves and for the kids it would be about how to understand their donor information and share/ not share with others."


Please let us know your preferences of days/ times so that I can keep a list from our Blog and Group, and please speak with Lisa as well, Lisashu@aol.com.


Thanks and best to all,
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Saxel95@aol.com

Adoption and Third Party Parenting Resources

Worth repeating, I wish there were half as many resources for Third Party Parenting as there is for Adoption.
This is a highly recommended series and organization.
Adoption education online for adoptive parents and families ...
Courses and webinars offering adoption education to parents. Topics include attachment disorder, talking to children about adoption, grief and adoption and ...
www.adoptionlearningpartners.org/catalog/index.cfm
Sara Axel
516-967-7430
Saxel95@aol.com

BioNews - Book Review: Precious Babies - a counsellor's view

New book review on the topic of Donor Conceived Families.

http://www.bionews.org.uk/page_117727.asp

Sara Axel
516-967-7430

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

The hidden costs of artificial reproductive technology | ksl.com

The article ends with this statement:

"Few clinics provide ongoing counseling for all of the parties involved, especially for the children who are the offspring of a donor."

My response: I don't know any clinics that do this! Please emal me directly at saxel95@aol.com if you know of any.

Thanks.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=1009&sid=18415599

Sara Axel
516-967-7430

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

CT Fertility Launches “The Greatest Gift of All” Campaign Encouraging Embryo Donations to Parents in Need

A clinic here in the NE is getting behind this family-building option that I long ago thought could be the next big thing. And very disappointed that its has not become so. Scratching the surface and moving beyond the ban on stem cell research and personhood, the industry is finally reaching out to the broader base to hopeful parents-to-be.

http://www.prweb.com/releases/ct_fertility_surrogacy/embryo_donation_adoption/prweb9057276.htm

Sara Axel
516-967-7430

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Trivia Question Of The Day

Is this, and was Ringo wearing a tie on the original cover of Yellow Submarine?

joining the dsr IMG-20111017-00414.jpg

Uterine transplants: a new frontier in science | The Indianapolis Star | indystar.com

Let's just say for the moment that this is medically all good, would there be any question as to who is the mother in this scenario?

http://www.indystar.com/article/20111218/LOCAL/112180353/Uterine-transplants-new-frontier-science?odyssey=tab%7Ctopnews%7Ctext%7CIndyStar.com

Dr Oz, Eggsploitation, and What I Wore

I stand by everything I said about the film Eggsploitation, almost a year since I saw the film at Fordham and Columbia U Law Schools. I have not seen Anonymous Fathers Day, and I will probably not when it screens on January 29, 2012 in NYC at a Digital Art Gallery. 


I was, however, asked to be part of a special section of 40 people to attend the taping of The Dr Oz Show this past Friday, 12-9-11. The Topic: HOW OLD IS TOO OLD TO HAVE A BABY? I never saw the Dr Oz Show until I attended this taping. I was prepped on the phone and in person the day of the taping on what the questions would be, about being a 50  yr old mom of 7 yr old twins. The producer I spoke to asked for passionate participation and said there would be people on the other side of the argument, but that she never heard of Jennifer Lahl, Eggsploitation, Shark Tank Girl, Family Scholars or Elizabeth Marquardt. Something told me otherwise (maybe the little birdie I tell my kids about, the one that comes to talk to you when you are a mom). 


I was ushered in to the studio after passing several security check points starting at 8:15am, signing the release form, getting the bracelet to wear so I could give up my belongings for 3 hrs to sit without a bathroom break or even to stretch my legs. No water bottles allowed under your seat, they reflect on camera, it was to go until about 12noon.


During the taping, I raised my hand a few times to speak but was never called upon for a direct question or to add to the discussions. I had no book or film to promote, no organization to do PR or cultivate a relationship or free press for, but I did take a vacation day from work for this and I could use my show ticket to receive a 10% discount on merchandise sold at the Studio Store on the main floor of 30 Rock. 


Those that did speak on camera had good sound bytes to share, good points to make about older parenting and even egg donation, for and against, and I enjoyed the discussion from both sides. It was difficult to hear so I did not catch the 2 doctors names that were on the panel of experts, one woman OBGYN who said that women of advanced maternal age, even with the use of Donor Egg, can sometimes present other medical issues and that she would not allow to move ahead with a pregnancy plan or any fertility treatments. The male doctor on the panel, a Reproductive Endocrinologist, explained quite a bit about how a healthy woman in her 40's, most of what he sees in his medical practice, can carry a child to term with donor egg with greater success rates than with her own eggs. The mom in the audience, Kate, who conceived via DE in her 50's confirmed that no matter what the others are called in her family-building journey, these are her kids and she is the mom.


Many times the word "biological" child was used when I believe the distinction of  "genetic" offspring should have been made. For example, one of the first things Jennifer Lahl said about infertility is that she understands the heartbreak and the desire for a biological child of one's own but that basically giving birth via donor conception was NOT your biological child, it was another woman's child. In addition to that, according to Jennifer Lahl, "Not everyone has a right to have a baby." I hope this is not edited out from the taping. She even repeated herself, just to be clear.
Maybe she thinks it isn't anyone's right to have a baby at any age or by any means of medical intervention by any one at all. As you may know by now, she is looking to end all ivf procedures, not just donor. But surely she didn't mean "Not everyone has a right to have a baby." Did she?


Shark Tank Girl stood up to say that she is 5 months PG, that she has been an Egg Donor and is a Donor Offspring herself, here at The Dr Oz Show to say that Anonymous Donor Conception is wrong because it strips the child of their rightful PARENTAL connection to, you guessed it, the Donor. A parent and a donor are not the same thing.


So, WHY is it, that if a Donor wants to be a parent they have to have their own family with a different mate to actually live as a family, but Shark Tank Girl still insists that the donor is part of MY family. Why do other people get to decide what my family wants or needs? Why do people who are actually parents who conceive at the time through a real relationshoip to the child, get to walk in and out of a kids life and are still the parents, even though everyone else might agree that they are not? I do know families like this and that is exactly the point. People get to decide what they want to be a part of or not and no one can force them one way or another. 


If my kids grow up and decide they want another Mother, it will be IN ADDITION to me, not INSTEAD of me, if that other person wants to and not if they don't.


The kids will have to decide for themselves if they love me or not, still want me as their mom or not, if they want to seek out their donor and then accept them as another Mother or not, and so on. We will always be a family of choice, but I would appreciate it very much if you didn't call me/us other names and use language like "The Violent Act of Buying and Selling a Child" with regard to sperm and egg donation, or that donors are "Used And Then Forgotten'', over and over. If you really care about families then why don't you leave alone the ones that exist just fine (and thriving in the same ways and at the same rate as other families in the general population) without you?  


PS-I wore a blue dress and figure that all you'll see of me when the show airs in January is the back of my head, which I really do hope they edit even that part of my participation out of the show. And if you happen to speak to Dr Oz, please tell him that I want my vacation day back! I am just a working mom, after all.

Is It Really Possible to Love an Adopted Child as Much as a Biological Child? | Creating a Family

Actually, its Pat Irwin Johnston's comment that resonates with me the most because it speaks to all relationships, regardless of age,gender, biology, genetics and applies to any stage in our lives.
http://www.creatingafamily.org/blog/adoptive-parenting/love-adopted-child-biological-child/