Additional peer support is available from 3 of our group members. All are good friends who have made this offer to be able to help others one-on-one by phone appointment.
Please contact me if you would like to talk to one of these women about de, de/ds for smc's, de/gs, the journey as well as parenting.
If you would like to become a volunteer please let me know.
The NYC Gathering
Our Community
Monday, March 16, 2009
3 NYC Gathering Members added to list of volunteers
Additional peer support is available from 3 of our group members. All are good friends who have made this offer to be able to help others one-on-one by phone appointment.
Please contact me if you would like to talk to one of these women about de, de/ds for smc's, de/gs, the journey as well as parenting.
If you would like to become a volunteer please let me know.
Please contact me if you would like to talk to one of these women about de, de/ds for smc's, de/gs, the journey as well as parenting.
If you would like to become a volunteer please let me know.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
TPPN Meeting Thank You Note
Thanks to all who attended last nights meeting. You were all really there for me and I appreciate it so much.
Nancy and Elizabeth run a great group. We shared our thoughts, feelings and experiences and everyone was heard and supported, all within our varying opinions and perspectives.
Particularly helpful to me was hearing Eric Schwartzman's views on being a DI Dad and we all considered how donor conception and all the 3rd party options impact our kids and how we think we will handle it into the future.
For me, I'm not ready for the DSR, but learning from everyone here at this meeting (pro and con), I am trying to remain open-minded and gear myself up for whatever approach my kids want to take when the time comes. My aim would be to support them and help them accomplish their goals and meet their own needs. I hope they too will share their journey with me.
I was also able to explore my own issues as they pertain to DE, ie my family of origin, my heritage, my genome. And back to understanding that it isnt just about me anymore. As Nancy has told me, this is now OUR FAMILY story, not just mine or my kids.
Thanks again to all who attended and to Elizabeth and Nancy for hosting and facilitating.
The TPPN Meeting is held on the 2nd Tuesday of the month, from 7-8:30 on the Upper West Side. Call 212-873-6435 or 212-772-1200, email- thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com and the cost is $30.
Nancy and Elizabeth run a great group. We shared our thoughts, feelings and experiences and everyone was heard and supported, all within our varying opinions and perspectives.
Particularly helpful to me was hearing Eric Schwartzman's views on being a DI Dad and we all considered how donor conception and all the 3rd party options impact our kids and how we think we will handle it into the future.
For me, I'm not ready for the DSR, but learning from everyone here at this meeting (pro and con), I am trying to remain open-minded and gear myself up for whatever approach my kids want to take when the time comes. My aim would be to support them and help them accomplish their goals and meet their own needs. I hope they too will share their journey with me.
I was also able to explore my own issues as they pertain to DE, ie my family of origin, my heritage, my genome. And back to understanding that it isnt just about me anymore. As Nancy has told me, this is now OUR FAMILY story, not just mine or my kids.
Thanks again to all who attended and to Elizabeth and Nancy for hosting and facilitating.
The TPPN Meeting is held on the 2nd Tuesday of the month, from 7-8:30 on the Upper West Side. Call 212-873-6435 or 212-772-1200, email- thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com and the cost is $30.
TPPN Meeting Thank You Note
Thanks to all who attended last nights meeting. You were all really there for me and I appreciate it so much.
Nancy and Elizabeth run a great group. We shared our thoughts, feelings and experiences and everyone was heard and supported, all within our varying opinions and perspectives.
Particularly helpful to me was hearing Eric Schwartzman's views on being a DI Dad and we all considered how donor conception and all the 3rd party options impact our kids and how we think we will handle it into the future.
For me, I'm not ready for the DSR, but learning from everyone here at this meeting (pro and con), I am trying to remain open-minded and gear myself up for whatever approach my kids want to take when the time comes. My aim would be to support them and help them accomplish their goals and meet their own needs. I hope they too will share their journey with me.
I was also able to explore my own issues as they pertain to DE, ie my family of origin, my heritage, my genome. And back to understanding that it isnt just about me anymore. As Nancy has told me, this is now OUR FAMILY story, not just mine or my kids.
Thanks again to all who attended and to Elizabeth and Nancy for hosting and facilitating.
The TPPN Meeting is held on the 2nd Tuesday of the month, from 7-8:30 on the Upper West Side. Call 212-873-6435 or 212-772-1200, email- thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com and the cost is $10.
Nancy and Elizabeth run a great group. We shared our thoughts, feelings and experiences and everyone was heard and supported, all within our varying opinions and perspectives.
Particularly helpful to me was hearing Eric Schwartzman's views on being a DI Dad and we all considered how donor conception and all the 3rd party options impact our kids and how we think we will handle it into the future.
For me, I'm not ready for the DSR, but learning from everyone here at this meeting (pro and con), I am trying to remain open-minded and gear myself up for whatever approach my kids want to take when the time comes. My aim would be to support them and help them accomplish their goals and meet their own needs. I hope they too will share their journey with me.
I was also able to explore my own issues as they pertain to DE, ie my family of origin, my heritage, my genome. And back to understanding that it isnt just about me anymore. As Nancy has told me, this is now OUR FAMILY story, not just mine or my kids.
Thanks again to all who attended and to Elizabeth and Nancy for hosting and facilitating.
The TPPN Meeting is held on the 2nd Tuesday of the month, from 7-8:30 on the Upper West Side. Call 212-873-6435 or 212-772-1200, email- thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com and the cost is $10.
Monday, March 9, 2009
From Lonny Higgins, Author of "Creating Life Against The Odds
I am honored and extend my thanks again to the amazing and wonderful Lonny Higgins for the first blog entry....
I am a 62 year old practicing Ob/Gyn, author of the book Creating Life Against The Odds, The Journey From Infertility to Parenthood which you might have fun checking out through my website at http://www.lonnyhiggins.com/. But I am also an elementary school substitute teacher, an addicted distance paddler of the Molokai Channel and a neophyte farmer of artichokes on the Big Island. So, how come I'm wanting to share on your blog? Mine was one of the early DE journeys of the 1990's, making me a crusader for the right of our children to know of their donors during a time when REI's thought that anonymity was the only reasonable choice. It was foremost a journey which brought me to have our third baby at the age of 50 because I couldn't bear the thought of no longer hearing the patter of tiny feet in our home. I'm a philosophical nut, too, so I'll excerpt some insights...
I find it very interesting that finally we are seeing studies about donor siblings in which, for the first time, identity/family quest behavior is no longer presumed to be stemming from a desire to understand loss, but rather from a desire to know bounty in the sense of a greater family identity. The early years of DI were so immersed in secrecy that the only paradigm we heard about was how anonymous DI was really an angst experience for the lost parent, yet I always felt that the sense of having lost something by being conceived in that way was something more due to how the information was or wasn't shared and how guilty the parent or parents felt about it, than anything to do with genes shared with those "lost dads." It is also noteworthy to me that the term donor siblings is now using the word sibling to mean anyone who shares some genes, where before it meant only those who share all their genes regardless of what roof they were raised separately beneath.We are one step closer to understanding what has been a lightbulb experience for me and that is the positive aspect of genes shared rather than owned. For our family, the sharing of genes never became the criteria for sibling identity because we fell on the other end of the spectrum entirely. We feel that sibling is defined by being raised within one family under one roof, so the basis of closeness never became one of genetic ranking. I believe the opposite end of the spectrum is finally taking a back seat when people can call those with shared genes full siblings. We are all related and at the same time someone else's child. This fundamental duality is inherent in all of nature. Nice to see it declaring itself after all these years. Hugs, Lonny
I am a 62 year old practicing Ob/Gyn, author of the book Creating Life Against The Odds, The Journey From Infertility to Parenthood which you might have fun checking out through my website at http://www.lonnyhiggins.com/. But I am also an elementary school substitute teacher, an addicted distance paddler of the Molokai Channel and a neophyte farmer of artichokes on the Big Island. So, how come I'm wanting to share on your blog? Mine was one of the early DE journeys of the 1990's, making me a crusader for the right of our children to know of their donors during a time when REI's thought that anonymity was the only reasonable choice. It was foremost a journey which brought me to have our third baby at the age of 50 because I couldn't bear the thought of no longer hearing the patter of tiny feet in our home. I'm a philosophical nut, too, so I'll excerpt some insights...
I find it very interesting that finally we are seeing studies about donor siblings in which, for the first time, identity/family quest behavior is no longer presumed to be stemming from a desire to understand loss, but rather from a desire to know bounty in the sense of a greater family identity. The early years of DI were so immersed in secrecy that the only paradigm we heard about was how anonymous DI was really an angst experience for the lost parent, yet I always felt that the sense of having lost something by being conceived in that way was something more due to how the information was or wasn't shared and how guilty the parent or parents felt about it, than anything to do with genes shared with those "lost dads." It is also noteworthy to me that the term donor siblings is now using the word sibling to mean anyone who shares some genes, where before it meant only those who share all their genes regardless of what roof they were raised separately beneath.We are one step closer to understanding what has been a lightbulb experience for me and that is the positive aspect of genes shared rather than owned. For our family, the sharing of genes never became the criteria for sibling identity because we fell on the other end of the spectrum entirely. We feel that sibling is defined by being raised within one family under one roof, so the basis of closeness never became one of genetic ranking. I believe the opposite end of the spectrum is finally taking a back seat when people can call those with shared genes full siblings. We are all related and at the same time someone else's child. This fundamental duality is inherent in all of nature. Nice to see it declaring itself after all these years. Hugs, Lonny
From Lonny Higgins, Author of "Creating Life Against The Odds
I am honored and extend my thanks again to the amazing and wonderful Lonny Higgins for the first blog entry....
I am a 62 year old practicing Ob/Gyn, author of the book Creating Life Against The Odds, The Journey From Infertility to Parenthood which you might have fun checking out through my website at http://www.lonnyhiggins.com/. But I am also an elementary school substitute teacher, an addicted distance paddler of the Molokai Channel and a neophyte farmer of artichokes on the Big Island. So, how come I'm wanting to share on your blog? Mine was one of the early DE journeys of the 1990's, making me a crusader for the right of our children to know of their donors during a time when REI's thought that anonymity was the only reasonable choice. It was foremost a journey which brought me to have our third baby at the age of 50 because I couldn't bear the thought of no longer hearing the patter of tiny feet in our home. I'm a philosophical nut, too, so I'll excerpt some insights...
I find it very interesting that finally we are seeing studies about donor siblings in which, for the first time, identity/family quest behavior is no longer presumed to be stemming from a desire to understand loss, but rather from a desire to know bounty in the sense of a greater family identity. The early years of DI were so immersed in secrecy that the only paradigm we heard about was how anonymous DI was really an angst experience for the lost parent, yet I always felt that the sense of having lost something by being conceived in that way was something more due to how the information was or wasn't shared and how guilty the parent or parents felt about it, than anything to do with genes shared with those "lost dads." It is also noteworthy to me that the term donor siblings is now using the word sibling to mean anyone who shares some genes, where before it meant only those who share all their genes regardless of what roof they were raised separately beneath.We are one step closer to understanding what has been a lightbulb experience for me and that is the positive aspect of genes shared rather than owned. For our family, the sharing of genes never became the criteria for sibling identity because we fell on the other end of the spectrum entirely. We feel that sibling is defined by being raised within one family under one roof, so the basis of closeness never became one of genetic ranking. I believe the opposite end of the spectrum is finally taking a back seat when people can call those with shared genes full siblings. We are all related and at the same time someone else's child. This fundamental duality is inherent in all of nature. Nice to see it declaring itself after all these years. Hugs, Lonny
I am a 62 year old practicing Ob/Gyn, author of the book Creating Life Against The Odds, The Journey From Infertility to Parenthood which you might have fun checking out through my website at http://www.lonnyhiggins.com/. But I am also an elementary school substitute teacher, an addicted distance paddler of the Molokai Channel and a neophyte farmer of artichokes on the Big Island. So, how come I'm wanting to share on your blog? Mine was one of the early DE journeys of the 1990's, making me a crusader for the right of our children to know of their donors during a time when REI's thought that anonymity was the only reasonable choice. It was foremost a journey which brought me to have our third baby at the age of 50 because I couldn't bear the thought of no longer hearing the patter of tiny feet in our home. I'm a philosophical nut, too, so I'll excerpt some insights...
I find it very interesting that finally we are seeing studies about donor siblings in which, for the first time, identity/family quest behavior is no longer presumed to be stemming from a desire to understand loss, but rather from a desire to know bounty in the sense of a greater family identity. The early years of DI were so immersed in secrecy that the only paradigm we heard about was how anonymous DI was really an angst experience for the lost parent, yet I always felt that the sense of having lost something by being conceived in that way was something more due to how the information was or wasn't shared and how guilty the parent or parents felt about it, than anything to do with genes shared with those "lost dads." It is also noteworthy to me that the term donor siblings is now using the word sibling to mean anyone who shares some genes, where before it meant only those who share all their genes regardless of what roof they were raised separately beneath.We are one step closer to understanding what has been a lightbulb experience for me and that is the positive aspect of genes shared rather than owned. For our family, the sharing of genes never became the criteria for sibling identity because we fell on the other end of the spectrum entirely. We feel that sibling is defined by being raised within one family under one roof, so the basis of closeness never became one of genetic ranking. I believe the opposite end of the spectrum is finally taking a back seat when people can call those with shared genes full siblings. We are all related and at the same time someone else's child. This fundamental duality is inherent in all of nature. Nice to see it declaring itself after all these years. Hugs, Lonny
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Mar-Apr'09 NY Area Events and Update
March 10-TPPN Meeting, Upper West Side, email thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com or Elizabeth Silk at 212-873-6435 or Nancy Kaufman at 212-772-1200.
March 19-Building Families through Surrogacy, 6pm in White Plains-Panel includes Gad Lavy of New England Fertility, Melissa Brisman Esa and Judith Kottick LCSW, contact mwelch@nefertility.com or 203-325-3200 or http://www.northeast.resolve.org/ click on calendar.
March 19-NYC Womens Dinner in Midtown, 5:30-7:30pm.
March 28th-IACCenter-Family Stories-How to talk to Children about Adoption and Origins, 9am-3pm, 609-737-8750, http://www.iaccenter.com/.
March 26-Long Island Resolve-Womens meeting, 6:30-8:30 in East Meadow.
April 14-TPPN-Meeting, Upper West Side, email thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com or Elizabeth Silk at 212-873-6435 or Nancy Kaufman at 212-772-1200.
April 20th-NYC Womens Dinner in Midtown, 5:30-7:30 pm.
April 23-Long Island Resolve-Womens Meeting, 6:30-8:30 in East Meadow.
April 26-NYC Gathering All-inclusive, 12:30-3:30 pm, Upper West Side.
Mar-Apr'09 NY Area Events and Update
March 10-TPPN Meeting, Upper West Side, email thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com or Elizabeth Silk at 212-873-6435 or Nancy Kaufman at 212-772-1200.
March 19-Building Families through Surrogacy, 6pm in White Plains-Panel includes Gad Lavy of New England Fertility, Melissa Brisman Esa and Judith Kottick LCSW, contact mwelch@nefertility.com or 203-325-3200 or http://www.northeast.resolve.org/ click on calendar.
March 19-NYC Womens Dinner in Midtown, 5:30-7:30pm.
March 28th-IACCenter-Family Stories-How to talk to Children about Adoption and Origins, 9am-3pm, 609-737-8750, http://www.iaccenter.com/.
March 26-Long Island Resolve-Womens meeting, 6:30-8:30 in East Meadow.
April 14-TPPN-Meeting, Upper West Side, email thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com or Elizabeth Silk at 212-873-6435 or Nancy Kaufman at 212-772-1200.
April 20th-NYC Womens Dinner in Midtown, 5:30-7:30 pm.
April 23-Long Island Resolve-Womens Meeting, 6:30-8:30 in East Meadow.
April 26-NYC Gathering All-inclusive, 12:30-3:30 pm, Upper West Side.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)